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Submitted by: Gath

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4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

01/May/10 5:24 AM
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5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from the garden.

01/May/10 5:25 AM
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6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

01/May/10 5:25 AM
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7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

01/May/10 5:25 AM
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8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

01/May/10 5:25 AM
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9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans and drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

01/May/10 5:26 AM
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10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

01/May/10 5:26 AM
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11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

01/May/10 5:26 AM
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12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from the top of the tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.



01/May/10 5:27 AM
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13. Take last pill from foil wrap. Using heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed, tie the little buggers front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
01/May/10 5:28 AM
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14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

01/May/10 5:29 AM
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15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

01/May/10 5:29 AM
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How To Give A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.
01/May/10 5:29 AM
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Oh, BTW...
01/May/10 5:30 AM
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Hi Jerry. (I didn't want to interrupt your saga.)
01/May/10 5:34 AM
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Oh, Jerry! I've given pills to both, and that is sooooo true!
01/May/10 5:37 AM
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I'm back from lunch (crab quiche, yummy) Now to change clothes and go watch hubby's High School Junior Varsity baseball team (hopefully) grab another win!
Go Bulldogs!!
01/May/10 5:48 AM
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1:54, everyone.
01/May/10 7:16 AM
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I've just talked with 27 glindas...do I need help? Or just a big bar of choccy?

Sweet dreams x
01/May/10 7:59 AM
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Jerry... my sides are hurting. I had a cat just like that. When I took him in to the Vet's as a 6 month old kitten, I brought along a pair More...
01/May/10 8:08 AM
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Heidi, I'll stick with dogs. Most of them did not particularly delight in going to the vets. When you worn a vet about a dog, they seem to listen - the teeth are bigger, it is just getting the muzzle on....
01/May/10 8:23 AM
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just want to say that my mom is better, they are back in the states and should be at their house within a few hours
01/May/10 8:29 AM
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You'll all be pleased to know that it is a wonderful, quiet (so far, teenage birthday party to come) sunny day here.
01/May/10 8:40 AM
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2.05 Hello and good evening. A very tranquil picture.

Gen.
01/May/10 9:05 AM
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Back from my MRI. Took a nap and am now awake again. The nurse at the desk was so nice. She called in an expert to give me my dye shot, and he only had to jab me once. It was the same tec, who tryed three time to get the shot in last time, and had to call someone else the time before. That was only twice, but she had me in tears.
01/May/10 9:25 AM
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Thumbs up Shiela
01/May/10 9:27 AM
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Linda, great news. Glad they are finally home, and hope your Mum's recovery is swift.

Glad that's all over Dorthea.

Have a great day dino, I am sure it will all go well...

I have had that cat too, Jerry!
01/May/10 9:33 AM
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1.58 Very foreboding

It was foggy this morning as I took my hubby to his appointment. The drive is about 1 1/2 round trip, and by the time I got to the neighbouring town, the clouds had lifted and it was quote a sunny morning...then I got back to my town, and it's still foggy!

May the sun shine on your day, even if it's only in your imagination!
01/May/10 9:38 AM
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Have to brag on my granddaughter--she is in Iowa this weekend to compete in the Western Division Gymnastics finals. She won Texas State and, two weeks ago, the Regional competition in New Mexico for level 9. I am not surprised since she has lived and breathed gymnastics since she was about 4 yrs old and is a high school freshman now.
01/May/10 11:04 AM
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Striking photo, but makes a dreary day here look bright. What ominous clouds!
01/May/10 11:10 AM
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2:12 Good morning all. I hope you all have a lovely weekend.
Happy May Day!
01/May/10 11:11 AM
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Good morning all.
Linda - glad your mother is home and on the mend. It must have been a worry for you.
Hazel - best wishes to your granddaughter.
Jerry - Hilarious - that's why I have dogs these days.
Having said that - a man just came here to collect a garden shed he bought from us. More...
01/May/10 11:28 AM
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Brag away, Hazel! That's great!
01/May/10 11:28 AM
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Thanks Greg!

Sorry to post & run but I have to take advantage of no rain to get some work done outside.

The reason the "cat pill" went up a paragraph at a time was there was something the censor didn't like. That was the easiest way to figure it out. I had to change a word in para. 13, then didn't want to break the rhythm...
01/May/10 11:42 AM
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Can identify with the cat saga - even though I've never owned one.
01/May/10 11:43 AM
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Glad to hear your folks are home safe, Linda.
01/May/10 11:43 AM
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Keep bragging, Hazel - and congratulations to your grand daughter.
01/May/10 11:44 AM
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Dorthea - good news on only having to be stuck once!
01/May/10 11:45 AM
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Now we just need Shiela's news.
01/May/10 11:46 AM
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Another gorgeous Canberra day here.
01/May/10 11:46 AM
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