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Submitted by: Gath

Indicate which comments you would like to be able to see

3:53
 |  |
A frog goes into a bank and hops up to the loan officer. The frog says,
'Hi, what's your name?'

The loan officer says, 'My name is John Paddywack, can
I help you? '

The frog says, 'Yeah, I'd like to borrow some money.'

The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form. He says, 'Okay,
what's your name? '

 |  |
The frog says, 'Kermit Jagger. '

The loan officer says, 'Really? Any relation to Mick Jagger?'

The frog says, 'Yeah, he's my dad.'

The loan officer says, 'Okay, do you have any collateral?'

The frog hands the loan officer a pink ceramic elephant and says, 'Will this do?'
 |  |
The loan officer says, 'I'm not sure. Let me go check with the bank manager.'

The frog says, 'Tell him I said hi. He knows me.'

The loan officer goes back to the manager
and says, 'Excuse me. but there's this frog out here named Kermit Jagger who
wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink
elephant. I'm not even sure what it is.

 |  |
What should I do?

The bank mananger says, 'IT'S A NICK-NACK, PADDYWACK,
GIVE THE FROG A LOAN, HIS OLD MAN'S A ROLLING STONE.'

 |  |
Sarah/UK, LOL! haven't heard that one before.
 |  |
Fruitcake Recipe


1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey

 |  |
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest
quality. Pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large,
fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off
mixer.

 |  |
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried
fruit. Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose
with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check More...
 |  |
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whiskey again.
Go to bed.
Who the h*** likes fruitcake anyway?
 |  |
A mangy looking guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The
bartender says 'No way. I don't think you can pay for it.'

The guy says 'You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show
you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?'

The bartender says 'Only More...
 |  |
He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar,
down a barstool, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the key board
and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good.

The bartender says, 'You're right. I've never seen anything like
that before. More...
 |  |
'Money or another miracle else no drink,' says the bartender.

The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts
the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous
voice and great pitch, a fine singer.

A stranger from the other end of the bar More...
 |  |
The bartender says to the guy, 'Are you some kind of nut?! You sold
a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be
crazy!'

'Not so,' says the guy. 'The hamster is also a ventriloquist!'
 |  |
To Jo at Townsville, I live less than a mile from where Captain James Cook was born, [Marton in Cleveland] just had a look at the uni website, and saw an ad for Magnetic island and Cleveland bay, Cleveland is the county where I live.Glad Larry has passed and all who post are safe and well
 |  |
Sorry I haven't been around, I've been playing catchup after my vacation.

Deb, thanks for the story. I lost a friend today and was feeling like a carrot. You reminded me that I'm coffee.
 |  |
Thanks Deb
 |  |
Last one tonight...
We have women in the military, but they don't put
us in the front lines.

They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I
think we can.

All the general has to do is walk over to the
women and say, 'You see the enemy over
there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'
 |  |
I enjoy the puzzles, comments and stories. Sarah, your fruitcake sounds like a winner, and I don't even drink!
 |  |
Wow 2:34 is really good
 |  |
Cant decide if I'm a carrot and egg or a coffee. Perhaps Im a teabag!
Now for the puzzle.
 |  |
4:27 -
 |  |
Linda,MA to find the exchange student, try contacting her parents. They dont move as much and tend to stay in the same place for longer. Look up 'www.white pages.com.au'.
 |  |
Good mAen from sunny Oregon.

Once again, I find myself wondering, 'Sunrise or sunset?' Again, it's a matter of perspective.

Pax to all Sudokurians!

/// ora et labora ///
 |  |
Forgot to reset the timer after an inturruption. Hope all our North Queensland players are okay after their visit from Larry! Ree P can you send me any photos you have from the wedding please. I want to send some over to the in-laws. Ta.
 |  |
Hi Deb, Great story from a great person, I'm sure you and your family are coffee.

Warren, You are strong coffee.

Suzanne, I figured being so close to the ground would work in your favor.
 |  |
RE: Carrot, egg & coffee - I suspect, in reality, we are all actually a mix of all three ingredients. Which, together, makes for an intriguing meal! Great story, now if I only had the foresight to remember this if and when I get the opportunity (+ have three pots handy!)
 |  |
Bob, It would be cool to see a picture of Deb, but until than I will imagine her beauty.

Phil, We are a mix of the three but in varying proportions.
 |  |
nice pic--wish i was there
 |  |
Hey Barenaked Ladies, being vertically challenged does have its advantages. Not many problems with airplane seats, for example. Lower center of gravity. Easy to crawl through the window when you lose your keys. Can search and rescue lost items in the far recesses of the lower kitchen cabinet...you get my drift..!
 |  |
Hmm, carrot, egg or coffee? I think I'm the fruitcake!
 |  |
H*LL, I KNOW I'm the fruitcake!
 |  |
You could always try the Australian White Pages Phone Directory to narrow your search:

http://www.whitepages.com.au/ wp/busSearch.jhtml
 |  |
4.06 - Angry Ant, photos are in 3 emails. Mum sent them to me and they're big files. Some really nice pics especially the one of mum & Rodwells.
 |  |
2:17
 |  |
TFTD:
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
 |  |
2:07
 |  |
Beautiful picture
 |  |
Suzanne, The small things are many times the best things. You would be one of those.

Wendy, Nice TFTD
 |  |
03:08
 |  |
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