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Submitted by: Gath

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Hugh, Hugh!
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Shamus and Mick were working for Normanton council, Shamus would dig a hole and Mick would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked furiously all day without rest, Shamus digging a hole, Mick filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand More...
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Bugger, stuffed that up. Shoulda put Baz in as the onlooker.
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But Beehive you actively court the crap. I'm sure you'd be far more upset if you didn't get any bites! By the way, several people on this site have called me Vic, which doesn't concern me as my name is actually Vicki.
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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

JEFF KENNETT: If the chicken did cross the road it should have been fitted with an etag and should pay the same toll as all other road users.

STEVE BRACKS: Regional chickens should have the same opportunities to cross roads as chickens living in More...
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'He flattered himself on being a man without any prejudices and this pretension itself is a very great prejudice'.
Anatole France
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beehive - have you got life insurance?! Beware the 'fatwa' - we would miss you and your jokes (which have already put a smile on my dial this morning)if you suddenly disappeared...
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2.52 and improving, good morning to all! :)
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This perturbed pup has been Posted Previously
purchance the Posting of a Purple or Pinstriped Penguin would Pervail??
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Shamus and Mick were having a break from planting trees and were erecting some fences instead.

Mick was given the task of nailing on the palings and was going great guns when Shamus noticed that after putting a nail in Mick would throw one or two away, then hammer another one or two in, More...
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There ya go vlc, and I thought you were a bloke too. Now I'm embarrassed. And ya probly right, wot really annoys me is you post something original that you think is good/meaningful/clever/funny/outrageous etc, (not like all these silly cut and pasted jokes), and no-one appreciates it. That really is a bummer.
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Hugh, yes, I got your message, thanks much. It looks like I can either get a First Edition Hardbound of ''Scapegoats of the Empire'' or I can eat for the next year and a half. But not both.

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Beehive, love all your stories/jokes today. Keep up the great aussie humour!!
I'm with you on the Religious nuts coming here and wanting to change our great 'she'll be right' country into the same mess they left in their own homeland.
Whatever happened to the theory 'When in Rome/Aus do as the Romans/Aussies do'
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Hey Mousie, sorry you missed the Panto yesterday. It needed a bit of comic relief.

Did ya hear about the two Trappist Monks? One turned to the other and said
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3:24
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beehive???? and......???are you being a tish again?
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sorry beehive - just got it - how slow am I?
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A few of you out there may not know this, but way back Baz was on a working contract for 3 months in the UK. He was drinking in a local pub in
Warwick England and got a call on his mobile.
He hung up, grinned from ear to ear, ordered a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, and announced More...
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Billy, you crack me up.
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...don't answer tthat - just had my weeties - so I'm now on the ball...all this idle time is mushing my mind - seeing Pirates of the carib, this morning - that should stretch it...
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A thought for the day:
'Good morning is a contradiction in terms'.
Garfield
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I love doing Sudoku Puzzles. I have a book and I do them for fun. It just takes me longer because theres 7 ppl in our fam and there always there bothering you but its still fun because they dont know how to do it and i do. They are all older than me except for my lil bro Bryan who is 13 and i am 14.
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A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spend $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?'
'About More...
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I really think they made this one up.

Live TV is Still The Best!
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think twice before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow but don't get More...
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Could't resist. Last one for a while.

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle.
She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for s e x.
'What's that' he asked.
She explained to him what s e x was and he said,
'Oh, I use a hole More...
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Hey everyone - did you see where the 25 million powerball was won by someone in Kalgoorlie. Made me think of Jac from there.

Vic from Melbourne - love your name and the way you spell it too.
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Beehive - I actually had/have (will have to look) a video of that 'snow' story. If I've got it, I'll forward it on.
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Go Aussie McKwen. Won his second stage in the Tour Of France.
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Since it's tax time in Australia, I thought you might like the following:
At the end of the tax year the Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a Synagogue.
While checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, 'I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle More...
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What an adorable little dog. It's too bad he/she has such a scowl look on his/her face. It looks like it could have a worse bite than a bark!!
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Out of curiosity, can I ask how much the book is? If you've been searching for it for 20 years, going without food for only a year and a half to pay for it isn't too high a price is it?
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National Security Levels.

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings, the level has just been raised from 'miffed' to 'peeved'. Soon though, the levels may be raised yet again to 'irritated' or even 'a bit cross'. Londoners have not been a 'bit cross' since the blitz More...
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Susan: Several thousand dollars for a perfect, true First Edition from 1907. There are only a handful in the market. Supposedly, the Australian Government destroyed most of them.
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Where are Kim and Mamacita and Susan and Judy and Ed?
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Kim's gone away on hols ......... don't know where the rest are
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They have gotten their necks caught in a mangle and will be indisposed for eternity.
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Hello All

Hope everyone is having a great day:)
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Michelle/Mickey are you still with us!
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Did you mean me? I'm here. Judy is on a long holiday. Ed got very upset on p 6 yesterday, and left. He popped into the chatroom to say he wasn't coming back.
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Hey everyone
This is Angie coming to you from
Radio SCAU 722.8 on your keypad

Just a reminder to tune in your computers to SCAU 722.8 on Friday 12noon (Melb time) where we will be playing all those

................. ‘ONE HIT WONDERS”..........

Dig out those old More...
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