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Submitted by: Gath

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 G'day mates. Here's today's paraprosdokian: "Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy." 26/Jul/11 12:00 AM |  |
 all. 26/Jul/11 12:00 AM |  |
 Hello! 26/Jul/11 12:00 AM |  |
 everyone! Sunny and NOT going to be 90°F+ today! 26/Jul/11 12:00 AM |  |
 Going to be hot in Texas today, I better get moving early. 26/Jul/11 12:01 AM |  |
 Enjoy, Sheila - it is going to be 100+ all week here unless something changes. 26/Jul/11 12:01 AM |  |
 rob in utah.Off to work medium and then get to work paying bills for church. 26/Jul/11 12:03 AM |  |
 Everyone! 26/Jul/11 12:11 AM |  |
 Good Maen, good people. 26/Jul/11 12:13 AM |  |
 How are you feeling, Plum? Better, I hope! 26/Jul/11 12:15 AM |  |
 everyone!!! 26/Jul/11 12:19 AM |  |
 everyone. Jamie, I have bills to pay today, too. I am the Treasurer for our beach house co-owners LLC. I'm so glad there are 11 families to share in the expenses, particularly this month when I have to pay the yearly insurance premiums on our beachfront property!! 26/Jul/11 12:20 AM |  |
 I'd like to get ready but hubby's using the shower and there's not enough hot water in our little water heater for two showers at the same time. Darn. Have to change heater, this one is almost as old as me! 26/Jul/11 12:22 AM |  |
 I read Mr Cee's lawyer and light bulb post. Mr Cee didn't actually answer the question about the number of lawyers needed to change a lightbulb. In keeping with legal obfuscation neither will I, but I will "shed some light" on the process. I'll leave it to the reader to try to More... 26/Jul/11 12:23 AM |  |
 Secretary transcribes said document, stamps it with the DRAFT stamp and sends copies to all involved who then dictate responses and have their secretaries send copies back to the lawyer of record. Another conference with hostess and food takes place after which lawyer tells legal word processor More... 26/Jul/11 12:24 AM |  |
 I believe it, Plum! I've seen some legal documents and they look like a rough draft of a huge novel! 26/Jul/11 12:27 AM |  |
 Shiela, thanks for asking. I am still coughing a bit with residual congestion, but I have had two good nights' worth of sleep. I have two days before the heat returns, so I will be well and try to make very good use of them. 26/Jul/11 12:28 AM |  |
 Well going to get my eyes checked and will come back blurry eyed after the dilation. Argh! 26/Jul/11 12:29 AM |  |
 It was an education working in that office. I floated, filling in for people on sick days and vacation, and worked on huge projects so they didn't bog down and interfere with normal work loads. I was able to glance into tax, corporate, international, real estate, personal injury and trial law More... 26/Jul/11 12:41 AM |  |
 Well, I've done what I could to bring things up to 22. Go for it. Have a great day. 26/Jul/11 12:42 AM |  |
 Close. 26/Jul/11 12:42 AM |  |
 22? 26/Jul/11 12:42 AM |  |
 everyone!I see Fiona has flitted in and flitted out. Enjoy your Canadian holiday, Bubble Girl! Have a beaver tail to much on during the flight. 26/Jul/11 12:47 AM |  |
 all. We are expecting some afternoon T-storms so it shouldn't be terribly hot today. Some sad news: the little hummingbird did not survive the night, so I have the task of burying the poor thing momentarily. The g/f and I gave it our best shot, but it was just not enough. It More... 26/Jul/11 12:51 AM |  |
 Our beloved Phanty was the only one to try yesterday's puzzle from "The Stealth Puzzle Provider". TSPP is not a happy camper! I shall post it again to appease the mysterious one. Contemplate these clues to common words, items or expressions from the categories of, BIRD, SEA, and More... 26/Jul/11 12:56 AM |  |
 Capt. J - sorry your little hummingbird didn't make it, but glad you at least tried to help him. Plum - glad you're feeling a little better. 26/Jul/11 12:58 AM |  |
 I tried it, but got only 8, so I did not submit it. 26/Jul/11 12:59 AM |  |
 Still cooler here today than it has been. I got my new phone. I ordered a blue and got black. Miracle of miracles, it appears that the chargers for the last phone are compatable with this phone. It is charging UP as I type. 26/Jul/11 1:09 AM |  |
 Please keep in mind that I am NOT Fiona! Partial answers are just fine with me! Heck, WRONG answers are just fine with me! I am a saint. 26/Jul/11 1:09 AM |  |
 Good morning. Hot weather here, too; but not as hot as some of you are having. Grandkids are coming tomorrow, so I have lots to do to get ready. 26/Jul/11 1:15 AM |  |
 That's a lovely craft. I'd take it, happily. I'd love to go whale watching, too. 26/Jul/11 1:42 AM |  |
 Good morning people of the world. 26/Jul/11 1:44 AM |  |
 Thread the Needle Day 26/Jul/11 1:45 AM |  |
 Captain J, you did your best. You tried is the main point. 26/Jul/11 1:46 AM |  |
 Your Highness got way over fed last night. I was really sure, I was going to have to explain why she was swimming upside down this morning, thankfully I did not have to do that. Just get to look at a dirty bowl. 26/Jul/11 1:48 AM |  |
 Oh, I do thread the needle! 26/Jul/11 1:50 AM |  |
 I have a few more strs to outline, perhaps I should do that today. 26/Jul/11 1:50 AM |  |
 stars...saw it just as I hit enter. Also should do home of those naughty word things. 26/Jul/11 1:52 AM |  |
 Karen, I'm glad Her Highness survived the overfeeding. I guess you will be Cl@@ning her domain. 26/Jul/11 1:53 AM |  |
 Are you going to let me do it? Or are you lurking? 26/Jul/11 1:53 AM |  |

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