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Submitted by: Gath

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30/Jan/20 12:04 AM
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When the sergeant told our new commander that his driver could not participate in an upcoming field maneuver because she was pregnant, the enraged commander demanded to know just how pregnant she was.

The sergeant’s reply: “Completely, sir.”
30/Jan/20 12:04 AM
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We made a Blonde sweep all the sunshine off the sidewalks.

It took the poor Girl all day.
30/Jan/20 12:07 AM
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2:08. Good Morning, Mr. Cee and everyone?
30/Jan/20 12:09 AM
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Morning Tom
30/Jan/20 12:12 AM
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A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha­­! That’s not going to help,” she said.

“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
30/Jan/20 12:12 AM
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1:39 Goodness me!! I had a high time on medium, then a faster one than I thought on easy.
Good night all.
30/Jan/20 12:16 AM
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Yeah Sarah, I've been around for a while. I can remember when we didn't have to sign in and there were no smilies. And Gath actually came on the site once in a while.
30/Jan/20 12:56 AM
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30/Jan/20 1:52 AM
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Yes, Sarah, ''from'' is an oldie but goodie. In fact, for a period of time, he once wielded the largest spoon in stirring the pot! It's good to see that you seem to have mellowed in your old age, from!
30/Jan/20 2:03 AM
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30/Jan/20 2:53 AM
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My dotage you mean, don't you, Judy?
30/Jan/20 3:08 AM
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Thanks, From - just listened to 'Mouldy old dough'!
30/Jan/20 3:24 AM
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Good Morning folks - off to do some errands - have a good day!
30/Jan/20 3:25 AM
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30/Jan/20 3:43 AM
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'Darn my right knee is giving me a lot of pain. I even walked instead of running. Even cut down a mile from 4 to 3. You'd think my knee would be grateful. Noooo, I sitting here trying to numb my knee with an ice pack! Now I know why they call if a bum knee. The bummer!
30/Jan/20 3:47 AM
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Sorry to hear about your bum knee, Sharon. I don't think either of my knees could walk 1 mile, let alone 3 or 4!
30/Jan/20 5:00 AM
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We finally have a nice sun-shiny day. For me, light deprivation is a thing and my knee doesn't like overcast, damp weather, either.

Goodbye foggy weather.

You won't be mist.

30/Jan/20 5:20 AM
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Dr. Heimlich maneuvered through the traffic choke-point near San Juan Capistrano and waited expectantly for a swallow.
30/Jan/20 5:23 AM
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My Mother used to say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Lovely woman.

Useless surgeon.
30/Jan/20 5:25 AM
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A mother complained to her doctor about her daughter's strange eating habits.

''All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax! What will happen to her?''

''Don't worry'', said the doctor.

''Eventually, she will rise and shine.''

30/Jan/20 5:31 AM
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30/Jan/20 5:51 AM
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Thx Kathy. Phanty may not agree, but it's OK with me if you continue with the groaners.
30/Jan/20 5:58 AM
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I thought frogs were green. Could this be a toddler?
30/Jan/20 6:08 AM
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That was supposed to be toadlet!
30/Jan/20 6:10 AM
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1:25. Good morning everyone.
30/Jan/20 6:18 AM
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1.40. Hop it.
30/Jan/20 6:35 AM
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Morning all, thought that was a toad. Thanks Jackie.
30/Jan/20 7:12 AM
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Good maEn, good people. It’s been an eventful week. One family member had a dropped cell phone and now must reactivate an older model, another is adjusting at work after a coworker quit, a third has become a moderator of a new online group. And I am making progress with learning to code on the Shopify platform.
30/Jan/20 11:46 AM
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And, look at that, I got post 29, my favorite number because it’s my birthdate.
30/Jan/20 11:47 AM
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In April. Not January.

I notice Keith managed to see his way to 22. And yesterday ended in post 66 but it was Wombat, not Peter, who claimed it.
30/Jan/20 11:51 AM
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I made egg fu yung for dinner tonight. We call it Klingon Gagh because one evening long ago my girls were young and had friends over to watch a Star Trek movie and I made dinner dishes and called them by Star Trek names. Its been Gagh in my house ever since.
30/Jan/20 12:07 PM
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And here I am on 33, so I’m serving blue Romulan Ale. Get it before it becomes illegal in the 2280s.
30/Jan/20 12:12 PM
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Not guilty Plum, I wad safely tucked up in bed by then.
30/Jan/20 2:08 PM
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Wombat, I was wrong. I went back to see who had gotten post 66 and saw your BOPP at the end of p 1 and mistook it for the LPOTD. From was the blankety-blank who jumped on post 66.
30/Jan/20 2:24 PM
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I resemble that remark Plum. Although it was more of a crawl and a fall over rather than a jump on 66.
30/Jan/20 4:11 PM
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Very appropriate to call ( )from( ) or blank from blank ''blankety-blank.'' Maybe it'll catch on.
30/Jan/20 5:59 PM
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Nah, ya know Phanty's too old and miserable to change his ways. And he's late too! Slacker.
30/Jan/20 6:24 PM
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What do you call a phantom by a campfire?

A toasty ghosty
30/Jan/20 7:37 PM
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It's easy to convince ladies not to eat tide pods.

But it's harder to deter gents.
30/Jan/20 7:38 PM
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