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Submitted by: Gath

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09/Feb/20 12:00 AM
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You know you’re a bogan if...

You’ve ever cut the grass and found a car.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

Your boat hasn’t left the driveway in 5 years.

You read the classifieds while holding a highlighter.

There are more than 7 McDonalds wrappers in your car.
09/Feb/20 12:01 AM
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You’ve taken out a loan to pay for your tattoo.

You know every driver racing at Bathurst.

You think the French Riviera is one of them fancy foreign cars.

Holden vs Ford is equivalent to good vs evil to you.

Your hero is Jack Daniels.

You’ve been too drunk to go fishing.
09/Feb/20 12:02 AM
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Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.

09/Feb/20 12:06 AM
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Why do kangaroos hate rainy days?

Because their children play inside.

09/Feb/20 12:07 AM
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What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?

A pouch potato!

09/Feb/20 12:08 AM
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What kind of music do kangaroos listen to?

Hip Hop

09/Feb/20 12:09 AM
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1:44 The name of the plant in the photo is the name of the street my daughter lives in.
Good night Mr Cee and all.
09/Feb/20 12:10 AM
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2:11. Good Morning, Cee, Anne and everyone.
09/Feb/20 12:23 AM
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You might be a redneck if:
Every job you've ever had paid daily.
Your resume is on a cocktail napkin and has three misspelled words.
Your business requires a lookout.
When you see a sign that says,'Say no to crack' you pull up your jeans.
You can't count the number of empty beer bottles on the floor of your pickup.
09/Feb/20 12:39 AM
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Lots of jokes yesterday and today AND an Arachnid brain boggler! Life is good!
09/Feb/20 1:56 AM
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Mr Cee, tom, DotCom & all who follow!! Night, night Anne!
09/Feb/20 1:57 AM
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Shall I add to the merriment? No? Well, too bad. I'm going to.
09/Feb/20 1:58 AM
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How did Reese eat her ice cream?

09/Feb/20 1:59 AM
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How did the frog die?

He kermit suicide
09/Feb/20 2:00 AM
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What do you call a wandering caveman?

A Meanderthal
09/Feb/20 2:01 AM
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A piece of cheese sees his friend looking very disheveled. ''Are you okay?'', he asks.

''I've felt grater'', comes the reply.

09/Feb/20 2:05 AM
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Careful you two. If you scrape the bottom of the barrel any harder you'll get splinters!
09/Feb/20 2:11 AM
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09/Feb/20 2:42 AM
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Scrape, scrape, scrape.....Oh, look! I've found another one!

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory today.

Afterwards there will be a pop quiz.
09/Feb/20 3:00 AM
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09/Feb/20 3:06 AM
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You might also be a redneck if:

truckers tell your wife to watch her language
you think the space program is fake and pro wrestling is real
you think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture
your dad's cell number has nothing to do with a phone
09/Feb/20 5:40 AM
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rwm! I love that last one!
Good to see you posting!
09/Feb/20 5:51 AM
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rwm, good to see you posting. Welcome...
09/Feb/20 5:52 AM
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A nice 1 -> 9 easy Easy.
09/Feb/20 5:58 AM
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Interesting flower.
09/Feb/20 5:59 AM
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... you think 'Roe vs. Wade' means two ways to cross a river
... your cockroaches went on strike because of unsanitary conditions
... you spent 3 of the best years of your life in fifth grade
09/Feb/20 6:11 AM
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Morning all,we might need an ark by the end of the week.
It's been raining all night and supposed to continue till next Friday.
09/Feb/20 6:43 AM
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1:23, was going better until my fingers got in a jumble right near the end... Good morning everyone.
09/Feb/20 7:09 AM
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09/Feb/20 7:13 AM
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A traveler was headed down a lonely road when it began to rain. Luckily he happened upon a monastery just off the side of the road. He knocked on the door and was greeted by one of the monks. He asked if he could stay the night, to which the monk replied that their order would gladly shelter him, More...
09/Feb/20 8:04 AM
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…...well, of course - I should have remembered that & skipped that story!
09/Feb/20 8:43 AM
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Money is on the Bar.

A Great Northern for me.
09/Feb/20 8:53 AM
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Good one, Keith!
09/Feb/20 9:16 AM
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Brilliant humorous start to the page. Always good to have some laughter in our lives. Not just the usual but rwm and Keith are very welcome humour contributors.
09/Feb/20 11:32 AM
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Great response to the quiz so far. If you feel like having a go for the first time then do so. Unfortunately no prizes just the satisfaction of having a go. If you get one wrong - who cares, it won't be public knowledge in any case and as far as I know I'm the only perfect thing on this site
09/Feb/20 11:35 AM
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In the 1st World War, submarines sometimes used carrier pigeons to relay messages back to their home base. Here is a poem I came across.........

‘Up periscope,’ the Captain roared
And up the look-stick flew.
A fifteen second all round More...
09/Feb/20 1:20 PM
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Arachnid's favourite, FIGJAM!
09/Feb/20 1:23 PM
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09/Feb/20 1:26 PM
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I remember referring to one of our State Managers as FIGJAM only to find he was standing in a group behind me AND listening!!
Next day he told me how disappointed he was as he thought I used to have a promising career (get the past tense)
09/Feb/20 1:29 PM
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