PERSONAL PAGE PARTIES

Submitted By: Canuk Greg from Ottawa, Canada

I would like to voice my opinion regarding the trend over the last few months to have Personal Page Parties that are anything but personal. Gath gave personal pages so that people could have comments directed  to them and so that (originally) SUPPORTING MEMBERS could have a place to talk about themselves, show pictures and have a private place unique to them.

Initially, when the first 'page party' occured, it was directed at posting comments that would have some fun and relevance to the individual person whose page you were on.  Folks rarely posted more then three of four comments and the comments were always directed TO THE PERSON WHOSE PAGE WE WERE ON. In the past few months, people have picked up a tendency to spend countless hours on someone else's PERSONAL PAGE and post inane chatter about themselves or just talk back and forth to each other.  Do people ever ask themselves if they would want there own pagres DESTROYED this way?

Posting page after page of chatter (on someone's PERSONAL PAGE) where you only talk back and forth to each other is WRONG as far as I am concerned. Page parties have turned into cyber-vandalism. Ruining someone's PERSONAL PAGE just so you can talk back and forth between yourselves is WRONG.

What stated off to be a fun exercise directing specific comments at that individual whose page you were on has turned into a virtuak house invasion.

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   Jane  From St. Simons Island, GA
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I have to get my 2 cents in. I LOVE the personal page parties, and when I go out of town, I will beg people to party on my page! Although I've only been a member for a little over four months, the biggest draw for me was the spontaneous humor, the poetry and, yes, the inane chatter that some seem to find offensive. Everyone needs a place to escape to when the outside world gets overwhelming. And while I also enjoy the serious discussions, the biggest attraction is the jovial interactions among the members - whether it's on 'easy', the chatroom or at a party. If you don't want a party on your page, say so. I'm sure your wishes will be respected. But if you do, post a message on easy that you'll be out of town and would welcome a party. And for those of you who find the parties distasteful - stay away!!! It's really that simple.
04/Oct/07 11:53 PM
   Kathy  From Maryland
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Interesting discussion going on here. Thanks for opening it up, Greg. The consensus of opinion seems to be that if you would object to a party on your page, let it be known. No one will take offense. Personally, I would enjoy it. I have laughed out loud at some of the clever, over the top posts. I agree with dino, I think we all need a little silliness in our lives. That said, I also understand the feelings of those who object, and that's fine too. "To each his/her own, just let it be known". (My goodness, that rhymes! I'm going to stick it in quotes!)
05/Oct/07 1:35 AM
   Jane  From St. Simons Island, GA
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Greg and I have been messaging back and forth, and part of one of my messages to him is pasted below because I think it is relevant to everyone:

...If future parties are only held with the express permission of the host, I don't think it really matters what - or how much - is posted. If the host would prefer a more restrained affair (as per Dino's request for no sex or booze!), all they have to do is say so! I have found this group to be most accommodating. I understand your concerns, but for those of us who enjoy the spontaneous contributions, I say the more postings the merrier!!! (At least on my page - if and when I ever take some time to actually go anywhere!) I also agree that the party at Rolanda's did get out of control (3 people posted 200 of the 357 messages) and so I also suggest that each host set some guidelines (if desired), such as "only 10 posts per person, please" - or whatever. In any case, in my opinion, the mirth and merriment is the glue that holds this group together!

05/Oct/07 3:22 AM
   Canuk Greg  From Ottawa, Canada    Supporting Member
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Thanks Jane, and that is all I was trying to point out. PARTY ON, but please do so in moderation. If people set rules then fine, but also use your common sense as to when enough is enough. As to the party on Dino's page, no booze and no hanky-panky (but I am sure someone will spike the fruit punch!).
05/Oct/07 4:20 AM
   Gail  From Cockatoo Vic AU
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If that is simply all you were trying to say, then why all the vitriol? Maybe if you had said something like that a week ago, it would not have engendered so much ill-feeling. Why couldn't you just have said you thought it had got out of control? To that I would have agreed.
I do not understand why, whenever these issues come up, the people who do finally mention it, have left it so long that it has become a festering point for them. All that causes is and 'us and them' backlash. A little word early is far better than a diatribe later.
05/Oct/07 8:18 AM
anne  From vermont
Gail, as has already been mentioned, people around here are generally more apt to be quiet on an issue rather than voice disagreement. My guess is that mainly people don't want to cause offense, but sometimes they may also not want to start a heated exchange.
05/Oct/07 8:29 AM
   Canuk Greg  From Ottawa, Canada    Supporting Member
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Gail, I posted this message on your page, but decided this was th place for it instead, so please feel free to delte my message on your page.....

Gail, there are so many different personalities that post on this site, and NO ONE (well maybe some persons) wants to step on someone's toes. My opening the page was an attempt to massage people with the fact that there was overkill going on. It was NOT meant to be a diatribe. It was simply an attempt to bring the concerns of MANY others (aside from myself) to the attention of people who were going over-board. How would you have handled stepping on people's egos? I AM NOT A BOAT ROCKER. I enjoy the site, the fun and the silliness as much as anyone else, but some self-control by people is needed, especiallly when they are on someone's personal page.
05/Oct/07 8:43 AM
Ian  From Boston
Destroyed...vandalism...house invasion... garbage....hijacking....ruining someone's personal page....

This is the internet equivalent of anthropomorphization. What exists here is a random collection of electrons in cyberspace, totally ficticious and ephemeral, not a trampled garden or trashed house in reality.
05/Oct/07 9:11 AM
   Gail  From Cockatoo Vic AU
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As I stated Greg, I think a little word at the beginning when the party was announced would have gone a long way rather than it have come to this. I have no problem with people voicing their opinions, my ego can handle it. What I object to is this insinuation that I or anyone else would take it as a personal attack or be offended. I haven't, and I'm not. If you, or all these others you speak for, had said something about your feelings a week ago, it would have avoided all this unnecessary angst and to-ing and fro-ing and would quite probably have made us tone it down, because in retrospect, I agree. Maybe, if rules need to be imposed, each person can only post once a day at a party.
ps I have only ever deleted one comment on my page and you can guess who that was from! I will delete it if you so choose. I wasn't going to say anymore about it but, as you came to my page, I felt I had to respond. It was going to be on your page but as you said, this is the place. I had made up my mind to not participate in any more because I was already over it. 'Nuff said. You certainly got the message across. Sorry if our actions have caused a rift, now let's all build a bridge and get over it.
05/Oct/07 9:29 AM
Ian  From Boston
What's "right" and what's "wrong" seems to be a highly idiosyncratic, personal opinion. Saying that certain pages were created for some specific purpose and that other use is wrong is nothing more than than the arrogance of inflicting one's judgment (or more likely, desires) on everybody else. Who says, "This is a site for...." or "Don't belong on?" One single participant?

There is, however, generally-respected etiquette in cyberspace, as there is with table manners. And while it might be quite logical to have the opinion that picking one's nose at the dinner table is quite all right, not very many people do it.
05/Oct/07 11:15 AM
   dino  From Sth Gippsland    Supporting Member
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One good thing which has come out of this debate is showing us how a new forum page can be used to air and share opinions more extensively than is appropriate for the home page. Thanks for that Greg.
05/Oct/07 11:34 AM
   dino  From Sth Gippsland    Supporting Member
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And my next bright idea is that when anyone wants to start a party, then they do it by creating a new forum page just for the party, and establishing any party rules at the same time. That way there is no danger of upsetting other sudokuists. Have fun and be kind, too!
06/Oct/07 10:13 AM
   Rolanda  From Perth    Supporting Member
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well, what can I say..
Havent read the party on my page as yet.. not long home from holidaying.
#1 son ran me yesterday to say he was fixing my pooter, and that there was over 400 emails waiting for me.. my reaction was 'WHAT!!' I'm thinking JUNK emails... he informed me 99.9% of them was from sudoku.
'AHHH I said they have had a party at my place'
The boys did mention to me that they were planning on having a party on Sunday Eve, not expecting that they would be gatecrashed by Sudokufamily..
At least my house is tidy and clean when I arrived home today.
Did I expect a sudoku party on my page... well!! hmm, maybe in the back of my mind I thought maybe Gail........
Will I delete any of it... dont know. as I said havent read it yet... no doubt will be having a giggle or two.
Personally I haven’t been to other parties on other peoples page….. have read, but not commented..
It was interesting reading this forum..
I usually stop ‘reading’ and ‘skip over’ when it goes OTT Silly, Argumentative, Nasty or …. - be it on Easy, Someones page, Party or ……..
06/Oct/07 6:06 PM
jeb  From ks
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Aha, I see a bone of contention in the daylight now, that I had missed earlier. The e-mail issue. I couldn't figure out what that was all about. Every time someone posts to your page, an e-mail is delivered telling about the posting. I had turned that feature off the first day my page opened up and had forgotten all about it. But now I can see how disconcerting that could be if a party slid into your page and all of a sudden all these e-mails started showing up on top of all the gooey footprints and boa feathers stuck to the ceiling.
07/Oct/07 3:49 AM
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59 comments  From 1054 views
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shrumbar  From cheswane
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29/Oct/07 10:51 AM
Ian  From Bostοn
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And who might notice this post?
21/Jan/09 9:15 AM
Cal  From Salinas    Supporting Member
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Or care?
21/Jan/09 9:18 AM
   CynB  From Redlands Qld Aus    Supporting Member
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Oh my goodness - I did, Ian and the date!! 8 days ago. Sneaky.
29/Jan/09 10:35 PM
   Susan  From Qld    Supporting Member
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And it appears that Rolanda didn't delete the comments on her page.
11/Feb/09 2:36 AM
Ian  From Bostοn
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But every now and then, a comment does get deleted.

30/Nov/09 12:16 PM
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