Easy Sudoku for 11/June/2010

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek.

She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he ?"

In case you can't tell, I'm cleaning out my email and sharing some of the funnier (???) ones with you.

The preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."

With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."

The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for Leroy, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til next week."

Punctuation


An English professor wrote the words :
"A woman without her man is nothing"
on the chalkboard and asked his students to punctuate it correctly.

All of the males in the class wrote:
"A woman, without her man, is nothing."


Are you ready for this...........?

All the females in the class wrote:
"A woman: without her, man is nothing."


Punctuation is powerful.

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and
Wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out
To the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured,
Educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,
Good grief, look how smart I am!

LOL Theresa keep them coming.

The coffee didn't work maybe a shower will wake me up.

Hopefully we will be up to 1600 when I come back.

And now for some great bar room signs:

Friends don't let friends
Take home ugly men

Women's restroom
Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Beauty is only a light switch away.

Perkins Library, Duke University , Durham , NC

If life is a waste of time,
And time is a waste of life,
Then let's all get wasted together
And have the time of our lives.

Armand's Pizza, Washington , DC

No matter how good she looks,
Some other guy is sick and tired
Of putting up with her sh*t.

Men's Room
Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC

At the feast of ego
Everyone leaves hungry.

Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson , AZ

It's hard to make a comeback
When you haven't been anywhere.

Written in the dust on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg , AZ

Make love, not war.
Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!

Women's restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman , MT

If voting could really change things,
It would be illegal.

Revolution Books
New York , New York .

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
Congress!

Men's restroom House of Representatives,
Washington , DC

Express Lane:
Five beers or less

Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic's, Phoenix , AZ

1579

1580

1581

1582

1583

1584

1585

1586

1587

1588

1589

1590

1591

1592

1593

1594

1595

1596

Inner Peace: This is so true

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment ,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

.....Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

1597

1599

1600