Easy Sudoku for 21/July/2012

TOPP!

Is that the same camper that I saw when you were here, Grasshopper?

An African proverb: IF YOU THINK YOU ARE TOO SMALL TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE, YOU HAVE NOT SPENT A NIGHT WITH A MOSQUITO!

Good night people of the world.

Good afternoon.

Been busy today doing all the chores I should've done during the week.

Also visited a new local market.

Mostly craft stalls.

Could've done a lot of shopping at a stall selling quilting fabrics at halt the price they are in stores here - but the eagle eyed Mr P was lurking!

CP you should know better than to take the Mr with you shopping...

Grass-hopper, I was wondering what 'conversion' was necessary / desirable.

Yes Heidi it is still EXACTLY the same camper. We do love it, but it is a bit scary driving it on the wrong side of the road. (for the passenger...ME)
To answer Jerry's Question, we drive on the other side of the road to you, so the steering wheel & pedals need to be shifted across. Also the power here is a different voltage so a transformer has been installed.

I was on holiday in St Andrews Scotland with my then boyfriend (now husband) and my parents.. A nice lady let us watch the moon landing on her little B&W TV.

Almost a touch of summer today with clear blue sky and a temperature around about 20°C or higher.

A Poem to Ponder

I was shocked, confused, bewildered

As I entered Heaven's door,

Not by the beauty of it all,

Nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven

Who made me sputter and gasp--

The thieves, the liars, the sinners,

The alcoholics and the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade

Who swiped my lunch money twice.

Next to him was my old neighbor

Who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought

Was rotting away in hell,

Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,

Looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus , 'What's the deal?

I would love to hear Your take.

How'd all these sinners get up here?

God must've made a mistake.

'And why's everyone so quiet,

So somber - give me a clue.'

'Hush, child,' He said, 'they're all in shock.

No one thought they'd be seeing you.'

The Mommy Test


I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

'Why?' my daughter asked.

'Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs' I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, 'Mommy, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.'

I was thinking quickly. 'All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy.' We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

'OH...I get it!' she beamed, 'So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy.'

'Exactly' I replied back with a big smile on my face.

Dead horse



Young Chuck moved to Montana and bought a horse from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next Day he drove up and said, 'Sorry, Son, but I have some bad news, The horse died.'

Chuck replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'

Chuck said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.'

The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?'

Chuck said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead horse!'

Chuck said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, 'What happened With that dead horse?'

Chuck said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a Piece and made a net profit of $898.00.'

The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Chuck said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.'

Chuck grew up and now works for the government.

Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers


**************************** Tower: 'TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.'

TWA 2341: 'Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?'

Tower: 'Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?'

************************** From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: 'I'm f...ing bored!'

Ground Traffic Control: 'Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!'

Unknown aircraft: 'I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!'

*************************** O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: 'United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound.'

United 329: 'Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little Fokker in sight.'

************************* A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long rollout after touching down.

San Jose Tower noted: 'American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able.

If you are not able, take the Guadelupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport.'

****************************** A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich, overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): 'Ground, what is our start clearance time?'

Ground (in English): 'If you want an answer you must speak in English.'

Lufthansa (in English): 'I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?'

Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): 'Because you lost the bl00dy war!'


****************************** One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, 'What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?'

The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: 'I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing llike yours and I'll have enough parts for another one.'

******************************* The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: 'Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway.'

Ground: 'Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.'

The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: 'Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?'

Speedbird 206: 'Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now.'

Ground (with quit

CONTINUED

Speedbird 206: 'Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway.'

Ground: 'Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.'

The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: 'Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?'

Speedbird 206: 'Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now.'

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): 'Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?'

Speedbird 206 (coolly): 'Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land.'

****************************** While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: 'US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!'

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: 'God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?'

'Yes, ma'am,' the humbled crew responded.

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.

Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: 'Wasn't I married to you once?'

Interesting facts about liquid assets


If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today. If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today. But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you would have received $214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg. A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!

AND FINALLY



There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. He told his wife, 'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.' And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, 'Wait just a minute!'

She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, 'Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband.' The loyal wife replied,

'Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.'

'You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?'

'I sure did,' said the wife. 'I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a check. If he can cash it, he can spend it.'

Peter Peter where are you?????????

Gooooooooo The REDS.

I am a moderator of some Yahoogroups, but the group whose URL is on the right side seems no longer to be in Yahoo, but an independent email group, malayalamfun.com, without the Yahoogroup designation. I will try to contact the group owner/moderator anyway to see if we can get some translation or explanation of today's photo.

OH! Did not need to get that far. Here is a huge clue:

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So I will send a PM and see what help will result.