Sudokuaholics Anonymous 10

Good Morning all, As has been said and felt, I too am happy to see that Heidi is safely home. Things have worked out where perhaps Maxine and her Mother may have a chance to return to good terms before its too late, which will certainly bode well for Maxine and the baby is no longer in the creep's hands. Hopefully his current actions will add strength to a strong sentence when he returns to N.C.
Broni...fight on my girl...don't let that cold win again now that you have meds to win. I'm okay,my sleep or rather non-sleeping time in tow. Nola, it will be hard returning to wk after such a long time away, but may it bring you joy to see those you have missed. Computer is still iffy so will post to be sure not to lose this...Take care all...know that I care.Peace.♥

God, We thank you for being our source of strength and courage. Thank you for safe passage of Heidi. May His peace be with you.

Heidi...as all of us have said,it is good that you are home safely. We were worried about you.
June..a win and a chook. You did well.
Suzy....when does school go on holidays there? Ours are on a 2 week break now. Bummer that you have a bit of planning ahead of you for the class's.
Broni...get better quickly.
Marma...my sentiments exactly. Good luck getting the computer running properly again.
Have a great day all!

I have woken up somewhat, and am rejoining the human race. I just talked to Maxine. We had a turn-for-the-worse once I left. Slimy BF has now taken the baby again and is going back to North Carolina with her. Maxine and the police had a talk with him about it, and the police gave the slimeball permission to take her as long as he brings her back in a couple of weeks. Maxine is being kept too busy with her mother right now.
Once I got out there last Wednesday, I discovered the condition Helene was in. She's a lousy patient, uncooperative and verbally abusive to doctors and nurses. Her intestines and stomach have stopped working, so they're feeding her through an IV. Any time she tried to drink or eat anything, she would have excruciating pain and vomit. Yet she insisted and demanded things to drink, then screamed at everyone that she was in agony. The doctors and nurses had gotten tired of her demands and were letting her have some sips (which still hurt her). She insisted that someone be with her every minute. I spent 4 days and nights at her side with no sleep, through the worst of it, when she developed an infection in her pick line, and became childish and delusional. I felt like I was dealing with a 3 year old who couldn't understand what was going on. She couldn't remember my name (the hospital staff still think my name is ''Joy''). The few times I tried to leave the room to use the facilities or get a bite to eat, thinking that she had finally fallen asleep, she would wake, not see me there, and have a full fledged panic attack. The nurses would come running since her monitors (including heart) would go nuts. They then had to go in search of me to calm her down. It was the second day that her temperature spiked, and they went in search of the source of the infection. Which was a nightmare because she was so uncooperative. I had to tell her plainly to stop acting like a spoiled brat and to behave herself. I told her that if she didn't help them, she was gonna die. Eventually, they found the source of the infection and removed it. After that, she got a bit more reasonable. I know her treatment of the hospital staff won't improve, though. Her main doctor told me that she's always been rude and unpleasant to everyone in the hospital. At least I talked them into starting her on morphine for the pain, so she's now sleeping a few hours at a time.
Now for Maine's story..... I arrived at the hospital on Wednesday night. Maxine persuaded the slimeball to bring the baby to the hospital for a few minutes so she could see her. Before he got to the hospital, I had a talk with hospital security about the situation and told them that he might get violent. W worked out a back up plan for the worst case scenario (which upset Maxine) and they has security watching from a distance the whole meeting. Once he showed up with the baby, he informed Maxine that he detests her and wants nothing more to do with her. He also said that because this was

Greetings friends. I have had a rough patch this last few days, thought I should check in and let you know I am alive and kicking before you'll missed me. I went to pool yesterday, that helped the achies a lot, but tired me greatly. I came home, prepared a quick lunch while putting away the few necessities from grocery, and then fell sleep in my chair. A 4 hour nap helped a lot.

Good to hear that Heidi is home. Looking for her promised full length version of the trip. I am glad that Maxine and boyfriend are not together, hope they stay apart.

Suzy, hubby did the right thing filing a complaint. Only way management will ever know what goes on in their stores. Maybe you can use the coupons, but I think there should have been some FREE coupons in there, not just discount. They did not ask me though.

Broni, so glad you have meds now for the chest infection. Get well soon.

JUNE, so sorry you did not win the auction on the shoes you wanted. It is hard to find a shoe you really like and then the company discontinue that model. Happened to me recently with makeup, so I know what it is like.

Suzy, good luck with your 2 week block of classes. Hope you can get some direction as what they need covered, it certainly was poor planning on the teacher to leave it like that. I know you can teach them, but will what you choose be what they need for exams?

June, I had a chuckle at your 'dead frozen chicken'. If it was frozen, would have assumed it was dead. Just struck me as funny, thanks for the grin today. I am glad you won, know you will cook it up in some delicious form.

NOLA< enjoy those last few days of holiday. My 5 weeks off, we never got that much time off from work here, know you deserved it though.

Julie managed to drop in and not tell us a thing going on in her world. Someone as busy as she is should have a LOT to talk about hehehe. Good to see you here, it does let us know you are up and about.

No way I am able to get back to my last post, so I will stop here and respond more later. Hugs to each of you, with extras. till later.

OH HEIDI, your post was too long! Need the rest of it, please.

testing.... testing.....

Welcome back, Heidi. Like MizT said, we need the rest of your post. Please and thanks.

I have been feeling out of sorts because of an incident with my nephew (sister-in-law's son). He posted something on TOS about not being invited to an Easter dinner. I asked him about it and he meant us. He had seen hubby's car and Maggie's car at his grandfather's place on Easter Sunday. He asked his mother (who lives right next door) and she said she didn't know what was going on. But he said they were both a bit upset they hadn't been invited. I LET HIM HAVE IT! I explained there was no Easter celebration, people were just visiting. I told him next time he had a problem with us, let us know instead of posting it on FB. I also told him I was insulted that he would think we would do something like that. You know, it's kind of disappointing when your own family seems to be stabbing you in the back. He did remove the post from FB, but I think I'm still owed an apology. So there. Plus his mother (hubby's sister) had been speaking with hubby that morning, plus he had emailed her to let her know he would be down for part of the weekend. How could she not know? Sheeeeeesh. Anyway, I spent Easter alone, but that little incident just sort of brought me down.

Sorry.... I got booted for using a naughty word in Part 2. I'll try again with some censorship.

continued .... He also said that because this was his child, he was keeping her. I calmly informed him that the baby was staying with her mother, and he was not going to be allowed to just kidnap her. He got really pi$$ed with me, but I didn't back down (by this time, Maxine was in tears and totally confused and hysterical). We ended up taking the baby to the police station, and the police sargeant gave them both a long talk on their legal responsibilities now that they made a child, and informed him clearly that if he wants custody, they will both have to go back to North Carolina and settle it through the courts there. Slimeball BF was then told that since Maxine was going through this nightmare with her mother, the baby needed to stay in New Jersey where Maxine could see her. He was told that of he didn't, and took the baby, he would be arrested. At this point, Maxine wanted to spend her time with the baby, and BF still refused to let the baby leave his sight, so they all went back to his condo, and I returned to the hospital to stay with Helene. Maxine still wants to be with him, and her self esteem is so low that she doesn't care how badly he treats her. I can only do so much. It's not over yet, and I plan on calling the social workers in North Carolina (the ones he assaulted) and let them know what happened in New Jersey, and encourage them NOT to quit or settle out of court. The best thing for Maxine would be if he went to jail.

Bean, you were asking about the hamburg casserole ... it was just one of the Hamburger Helper series (beef noodle). I don't care for them, but hubby, and especially his dad, really like them. I usually make a batch for hubby to bring down to his dad.

It's cold today and it had snowed overnight, but all in all the weather is nice. The geese are coming back, Chippy the chipmunk is outside, and the skunks are eating out of the cat feeder station again.

MizT, feel better soon. My shoulder/arm has the achies too, plus spasms. One day on the weekend, when I was doing dishes, the spasms started quite strongly and I had dish water on me, on the floor, on the wall. Good thing I was home alone. Of course I'm laughing at myself the whole time ...... I'm demented I tell you, demented!

Heidi, I have this sinking feeling that you are involved in a no-win situation. If Maxine makes the smart move and leaves the BF, she is liable to regret it and then blame you for it. That is one young lady who needs therapy of some kind, once she manages to gain the strength mentally to leave the BF.

I left out a LOT of ugly episodes that happened at the hospital, since I'm still stressed by it. Helene's behavior towards the hospital staff was so awful, it had me aghast. They were all doing the best they could for, and smiling through it. Two of the nurses I consider to be the best I've ever seen. I would trust my life happily to either one. I told them how wonderful I thought they were, too. They needed to hear that their efforts were appreciated. I know that if I was a nurse, and had a patient like Helene, I'd consider getting transferred. At least, since I didn't have to be nice to her like they did, I chewed her out for behaving so badly to these nice people who were trying to save her life, even though she didn't deserve it. And I told her that in front of the nurses. Something tells me that if euthanasia was legal, there would be a lot of people trying to encourage her about now.

I know, Theresa. I'm backing off and letting her make her own mind up. She begged me to go out there and help her, and I've done what I can. I can do nothing more for her until she gets a bit of backbone. I've prevented him from kicking her out of the baby's life unilaterally. He can still fight for custody in court, but that's the way she needs to go. Legally. I'm continuing to give her money for essentials, so she can eat while staying at the hospital. But now she has to make up her own mind what she wants to do. I can't do that for her. Nor would I want to try. I would just get blamed if she was unhappy with how everything turns out. And she will be unhappy with the result. I guarantee it. She wants to live with the BF as a happy family, and that ain't gonna happen. Noway, no how. He wants to get rid of her. He told her that. He told me that. He told the police that.

Meanwhile, Helene just called me, DEMANDING that I get back there to take care of her! Am I evil for thinking ''Euthanasia is good''? A bit more abuse from her and I may tell her where to go. And it's somewhere hot.

Maxine had enough abuse from her mother and her friend Joy, and took off from the hospital for a 2 day break with a friend. Helene is livid, and says that none of Maxine's problems are anywhere as important as Helene's, and Maxine should be at her side every minute. They have been screaming awful things at poor Maxine. Am I the only sane person in Maxine's life? Am I the only one who considers her baby, and her welfare, to be more important than her abusive adopted mother?

Well, there goes our hopes for Helene and Maxine to repair a long broken relationship. It was so badly broken, would have been a miracle had they patched it up. So very sad. Maxine keeps hoping for the storybook fantasy, a loving mother and a loving family of her own. Poor girl.

Theresa, you are right in that Maxine needs therapy, she might need it now, before she can leave that abusive relationship. Abuse is all she has known, it does get her attention, albeit the wrong kind, but for some, any attention is better than being ignored. It took therapy for me to gain the confidence to leave an abusive (mental, verbal, not physical) first marriage. Finishing my schooling, getting my RN so I could support myself and daughter helped too

Al was like your FIL, he liked the hamburger helper dishes. they were one thing he could not have on his heart healthy diet, until I found one with no trans fats, made with heart healthy oils. You would have thought I had given him steak the first time I made it for him hehehe.

I actually got one chore done today, working for 5 min, resting and back to work again. My closet needed rearranging for springtime. I took down all my heavier pants, the stretch knit corduroy, put them into an empty drawer in case it gets cool enough I need them. Sorted my short sleeve shirts by color, that really helps having pants and shirts sorted. Before I started doing that, I could spend 5 minutes standing in front of the open closet searching for something to wear. Removed a lot of stress from my life, and it is not hard to do, just an occasional rearranging when items stray from their location.

The saddest part of Maxine's hopes is that everyone has convinced the poor girl that it's her fault that she doesn't have a perfect life. I'm the ONLY person who doesn't tell her that, because I don't believe it. Helene says that I'm the only person who can control Maxine, so she wants me back there. I have no interest in controlling Maxine. She just needs to be treated with kindness and respect. Even Gil's heart is breaking for the poor girl. He wants to get her out here and introduce her to the daughters of friends at his church, who have young children the age of Maxine's baby. He thinks it'll help her to make friends with good people her own age who have something in common with her. One was even adopted.

Here's another chapter in this soap opera.....
Somebody (Not me!!!) got hold of the BF's bail bondsman in North Carolina and told him that the BF is quitting his job and moving to New Jersey. The bail bondsman is very upset (and called Maxine to find out the story) and is convinced that the slimy BF is going to jump bail. It turns out that the BF left North Carolina without permission from the bondsman and is in trouble now. I'm enjoying this. I just wish I knew who called the bondsman. I need to send them flowers.

Heidi... what a saga...Oh boy.
Tricia.. I hear you... and I agree with what you have said about abuse... therapy.. It is such a complex issue. In some ways physical abuse is easier to come to terms with because it stares you in the face every time you pass a mirror. It is harder to ignore.. to turn the other cheek. The 'silent' abuse is so much more insidious.. its reach is frightening. Even when away from the source it is hard to ever trust again.

It pains me.. really pains me to read about Maxine. Her longing for the dream and you are right.. it aint ever going to happen will she is with that scum. But maybe she needs the threat of losing her baby to realise that to do the best for her baby she has to do the best by herself.. look out for numero uno. I never learnt that. I always looked out for and helped other people. Couldn't ask for help. Still find it next to impossible. I have learnt NOT to say no when it is offered but i really have to bite my tongue.

My coach.. I now have a coach.. is arriving a few days before my birthday to try and help me break the back of the clutter that has a strangle hold on me.. it is where I have hidden from all the excrement that has happened in my life over the last few years. In one way it has kept me afloat.. in another it is drowning me. I will start MY new year with a much clearer vision & hope for my future.

Sending you an email Heidi..

I'm open to any and all suggestions that might help Maxine, or help me help her.

I need to water the birds (I've already fed them), then off to bed.

Oh Heidi - I wish I had a suggestion that would help. That poor girl is so damaged by the abuse hurled her way that only some peace and reassurance (and counselling)would help her. I'm so pleased to hear that Gil is totally with you on this, and he is right, get her in with regular people who will befriend her will increase her self-esteem.
I hope the BF ends up in jail and she comes to you. Hopefully by the time he is released she will be able to see him for what he is.

Greetings, Friends!

I'm typing on a small temporary keyboard, so please forgive any corrections I might miss.

June, hooray for the win at bowls, but sorry you missed out on the shoes. Maybe the sale will fall through and they'll get re-posted on eBay. I've seen it happen. Otherwise, hopefully something better will appear as a replacement.

Suzy, hopefully the pain with the name won't be a bother throughout the 2-week block! How awful that there is very minimal planning for you! I can't imagine being away for 2 weeks without leaving some pretty detailed lesson plans. I suspect there should have been enough time to leave plans - or maybe you are developing such a good reputation that it was assumed you wouldn't need much pre-planning.

Broni, I hope the double strength prescription knocks that chest infection right out of you and you feel much better SOON!

Suzy, it's somewhat reassuring that your hubby received a response so quickly to his complaint! I hope the discount coupons won't have an expiration date so that they can be used eventually.

I'm going to post this before losing it.

Mama, your words, as always, inspire us. It sounds as if you're are getting more and/or better sleep, which is a relief. Now, of only, there were a way to shape up your computer!

Heidi, not only am I glad you are back home safely, I'm also glad that you were able to remove yourself from the soap opera that is Helene. You certainly don't need to deal with her abuse - or the stress of watching the way she treats Maxine and her doctors and nurses. I'm also so glad and relieved to know that Gil is on your side and even thinking of ways to help Maxine! Hopefully the scumbag will get what he deserves. It worries me that the police allowed him to take the baby, especially if they have any idea of the way he treated Maxine. How is he going to be able to care for her? If we read any of this in a book, we would be thinking how far-fetched and unlikely to happen it is. And we have only seen a very abbreviated version of it. Unfortunately, you have just had to live with it for too many days. Sending gentle {{{{HUGS}}}} your way. I hope you will be able to get some rest now that you are home. You have done what you could do. Now Maxine needs to find some inner strength to do what she needs to do to save her baby and herself.

MizT, I hope you are well on the way to a return to 'normal,' if that means pain-free or at least greatly reduced pain. It's a good thing you listen to your body when it tells you it needs sleep.

Theresa, I hope you will soon be feeling less pain and NO spasms! Thank goodness you have a sense of humor! How awful of your nephew to think ill of you and your hubby and to have the nerve to post his thoughts on Facebook! You were right to be so upset with him, and he certainly owes you an apology. I hope the snow you got doesn't last long and you begin to see green grass and spring flowers nudging their heads above ground! And now my 2 cents on Hamburger Helper: hubby also likes it, though we haven't had any for years. Maybe it's a 'guy thing.'

Bean, you and others have offered some good advice for Maxine. I hope she will be able to seek the help she needs. Meanwhile, good for you for getting a coach to help you! With suggestions and practice you will be ready to face the new year armed with the advice and skills you need to have an amazing year!

I'm with CynB - fresh out of ideas that might help Maxine. Heidi, I think you have done an excellent job of presenting ideas and encouragement to her. Now it's up to her. I hope she can find the strength she needs.

It's time for me to hit the hay. Sending lots of prayers, , positive thoughts, healing vibes and {{{{{HUGS}}}}} for all!

Heidi, how are you?? The drive and stress would not be helping your health.
Julie, we want to know about you!!
Feeling at lot better today and had a good night sleep, discovered the double strength tablets knock me around, will be driving to work before taking the first one tomorrow!
Love and hugs.

Heidi, I'm really sorry you had to deal with all of that nonsense that faced you in Jersey. Hopefully the bf will do time!
The only advice that would possibly be of some help that I can offer has already been put forth ...that is that you now need to take care of your health as best as possible, and continue to listen to Maxine and support her as much as you are able ,while encouraging her to find her inner strength for the protection of her child's future. You have done lots...but counselling will need to be investigated for deep help that is needed. I too am glad Gil is with you, together you will do all that you can. Love is important, both of self and others. Maxine must learn that she can't fully love the baby until she loves herself... not always an easy task...but she must know she is worth the effort! ♥
u...please know that I continue to read and think of all of you and hope that you have more joy than challenges, or like bean, you find help in dealing with them...going to post before all is lost...Peace.

Maxine, thankfully, is already aware that she needs counseling. She needs a place to live first so she can get to see a counselor. Helene refuses to allow Maxine to stay at her house.

Off to run errands, like getting feed for my pregnant mare, groceries and getting a table top repaired. It's SO good to be home!!!! I can't believe the difference in stress levels!

Errands run, birds fed fresh veggies and I LOVE being back home in Kentucky. I want to stay here for good and enjoy the animals and the countryside. The ordeal with Helene made me appreciate IH a whole lot more. I told him so, too.

Good morning folks.
So glad to hear that the double whammy is hitting the spot Broni.. hope you had another good nights sleep.

Heidi I am not surprised to find you have found a new appreciation of IH even though he is very challenging at times. He's done lots of little things over the years that shows that his heart is in the right place.. the rest.. well.. you have proven yourself able to deal with such a challenge... and that he is LOL Keep on appreciating & enjoying the animals, fresh air & countryside.

Well put Mama.

Drumming was challenging last night but by the end of the class I THINK I knew what we were meant to be doing and the order.. for our 15' of fame tomorrow night. As to faultless technique and actually getting the rhythm [4/8 I think] and the order of the slaps, base and tones right.. WELL.. that will be another story. May even get to record this performance.. well.. not me..obviously..

Wonder how things are going out west at B & B Rolanda with her VIP..
We expect photo's ... no rush but we will be looking out for them..

Special hello to all that I haven't mentioned personally.. I hate to miss a anyone.

[

Heidi.. thinking of you..the tree outside of my bedroom window is full of tiny little birds.. flitting about and chirping.. or should I say squeaking..they are SO cute..they are smaller than the camellia leaves [japonica.. not sasanqua with the small leaves].

BTW.. have suggestions if you can get Maxine to Kentucky.. good luck.

Back to work..

Hi, Everyone! No time to read. Off to bed for busy day tomorrow: annual physical for hubby and me, podiatrist for hubby and me (new orthotics for me) and acupuncture for me. Somehow I need to find time to practice also (day 94 of 100-day challenge). Eight of the 17 (mostly folk songs, like Twinkle) have been recorded. It's challenging and frustrating, but I guess that's good for me.

{{{HUGS}}}, prayers, positive thoughts, healing vibes and for all!

Heidi, is there any way you can persuade Maxine to take a holiday at your place for a couple of weeks or a month? The baby could see the farm animals and all your furry creatures, and maybe she(Maxine that is) could help you around the farm. If she thinks she is helping you out, maybe she would come for a visit.

Lot of family problems here. I am ready to give out a few kicks in the a$$ to hubby's sister. She is again insinuating we are not doing enough. She said hubby goes down and all he does is babysit his father. First of all, hubby fixes anything that needs fixing, he does the dishes, he shares meals and time with his dad, which his dad just loves. It's not called babysitting, it's called spending time with someone you care about.

Friday hubby and I were going to have a day to ourselves, something that hasn't happened since last fall. Of course, it's not going to happen, hubby's sister needs his help. She says she needs to go to work that day (she cleans houses) because she hasn't had any money coming in this week. But I found out that on the weekend she and her hubby went to an NHL hockey game where the cheapest seats would cost them $60.00 for the two of them. They are called the nose bleed seats because they are so high, you need binoculars to see properly. The game was telecast for free on TV. If you don't have money coming in, how can you go to a hockey game?

I am trying to stay out of the whole thing as much as possible. I'm afraid any relationship his sister and I had is deteriorating and I don't want it to get worse.

I will spend today making a meal for hubby to take down to share with his dad tomorrow. Hubby will be spending the night there tonight.

I had a nasty panic attack yesterday and the night before. At least I didn't end up in the hospital, hubby stayed by my side. My panic attacks are not stress related, my brain has a chemical imbalance that triggers the 'flight or fight' response at inappropriate times. Pounding heart, very shaky, nasty headache. I feel better today. Still a bit shaky.

Enough complaints from me. I'm sorry about all the whining ... sometimes I need to come here to vent so that I can clear my head. Thanks people, and hugs all around.

I can't think of a better place to come and vent, Theresa. We all understand the frustration. And truly care about you.
Unfortunately, it sounds like a no-win situation. Your FIL won't be getting any younger, and will require more and more care as time passes. There will be a time when his family will have to make the decision to disregard his wishes or hire full time care for him. Family can't care for him as he needs if they have to work.
((((( HUGS )))))

Another nice, relaxing day ahead of me on the farm. I need to feed hay to the cows and horses today, and do some gninaelc. Even the latter sounds wonderfully relaxing. It's supposed to start raining in a couple of hours, so I get to spend time napping this arvo. What a wonderful stress-free day!!!

Heidi, FIL is on a waiting list for the home that MIL is in. He will be moving there on compassionate grounds, so he will not wait as long as others. He will be 90 this fall. We can notice the dementia more and more. He asks the same things more than once now. He's also forgetting to take his meds, so hubby's sister goes over to remind him every day.

Romance

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: “If you are
sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your
smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me
a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!

The husband replied ,

“I am on the john. Please advise.'