Sudokuaholics Anonymous 11

''Personally, I'm waiting for caller IQ.''

.... Sandra Bernhard

MizT.... Your headache pain comes through loud and clear in that last post. I feel for you.

Tomorrow morning at 9:30, a 30 ft truck will arrive to take the entire calf crop to the buyer. We had already agreed to the sale price, and him purchasing all the calves. Otherwise, I could have sold ALL the heifer calves to the man who has Rede. He's so nuts about Rede that he asked to buy them this morning. I had to tell him that they were sold already.

the rancher who bought Rede did not want to breed him to his daughters, did he? Or is he running two different bulls, wanting to go at that breeding from both sides? Too bad you had already agreed to a sale, might have been an interesting bidding war for those heifers. Hope you got a good price, and IH never gets his fingers on a cent of it!

Mr Earnest has 'graduated' from hospice. He walked to his door, alone, last time I knocked. PT came out for an evaluation, he was too advanced for PT to help! did it on his own. He now has home health, sitters round the clock still? I do not know. I talked via phone with him this morning, really needed to know who his nurse in charge was, but did get his medication delivered, been sitting in pharmacy. whoever ordered it failed to say, charge and deliver. Everyone needs someone to be looking out for them when illness occurs.

had photo taken today, got photographer to take one with my camera. We joke about this yearly offer of a photograph. the reason? Staff wants as many of us old folks as possible to have a recent photo, for when we die. Most obits have 20-30 year old photos.

today the comfort quilt made in 2002-03 for my friend Cathi returned home to me. Actually been in building since Friday. New owners daughter, another Tricia, recognized the [package, and took it into her Mom's home, for safe keeping. I mean, this quilt is irreplaceable, not a high monetary value, but so much love and prayers and wishes stitched into it. Cathi called it magic. she recovered from chemo under that quilt. she had a friend who underwent chemo, and loaned the quilt to her. Second lady found comfort throughput chemo, under that quilt. both are now cancer free. today it went to the third person to use it in her recovery. A lovely 98 year old resident here, with her third round of chemo over the years. I have photos when I can get my head around the sending them. MIGHT get it to TOS before here. Many of the people who made blocks for this quilt are there now. Cathi wanted a crazy patch quilt, where pieces of all kinds of fabric, lace, embroidery is on quilt. It is truly lovely.

Hopefully the latest headache medicine sent out is the one to help. Two pills today, and a lot of improvement. ONLY $2 each, with orders to take every 4 to 6 hours. Six pills a day? my Rx would only last 2 days, and NO REFILLS, bummer. Of course it will probably run out on Thursday, before the 3 day weekend my doc insists upon. Cause the pills have helped head so much, I am now having more problem with pain across my back at waist level, as if it were being cut into with a rusty saw! this is the area that caused so much grief when lying on my back for over an hour during MRI, then kept me from moving from the machine back to gurney. thought they would have to get a sky hook to lift me over to gurney. when I got over, landed on my side and did not move all the way back to ER, seemed miles and miles of hallway. My driver was so tho

. My driver was so thoughtful, always telling me fore any bump, so I could brace for it, and not cry out again. Self preservation or a really kind heart?? Also, not sure how long I could buy the med at $12 a day. IF it proves to work, we will file for exemption from medicare to cover it. ALL the charges for pills I never finished might convince them this is the ONLY thing that works for me. we shall see.

Tanya came today, did a chore been needed since end of FEB. She went to DMV and got my long expired auto tag renewed. YEAH. then had my car washed first time in 4 years. almost afraid to wash it, in case dirt was holding it together [wink}

Greetings!

Great TOPP, Heidi!

Congrats on selling all of the calves! I hope the buyer paid what they're worth! He'll be getting some great calves in the coming years. Too bad Rede's buyer didn't think to contact you about the calves sooner.

MizT, your headache sounds unbearable. I can't imagine how you have been able to deal with it. I'm so glad the latest pills seem to be helping. I hope the doctor will write a prescription that will last a reasonable length of time. Thinking of you and keeping fingers crossed that it will continue to help and you will be able to get it refilled before the weekend!

Sending prayers for the new recipient of the Comfort Quilt. What a marvelous story!

Good for Mr. Earnest 'graduating' from hospice. You're right, though. There needs to be someone supervising the ordering and delivery of his meds!

How considerate of your 'driver' to let you know when the gurney would be hitting a bump, Often, unless someone has experienced what those bumps feel like when you don't know they're coming, they just barrel through as if they weren't there.

Thinking of all of our Sudokuaholic friends, even if I neglected to mention each of you. Sending , {{{{{HUGS}}}}}, healing energy, prayers, and positive thoughts.

Flashback. I remember telling the paramedic in the ambulance transferring me to a mother hospital that the bumps were hurting me. He asked the driver to slow down. That's 30 years ago now. Of course, reliving it through flashbacks over and over again means it feels like yesterday.

*another

Just got back from delivering the calves. I am delighted with the results. The calves averaged more than 100 lbs more than Gil told the buyer. I told Gil he drastically under-estimated their weight, and I was right. The heifers averaged 602 (most of the heifers were born towards the end of the calving season) and the steers averaged 730 lbs. I bought Duke to increase the weaning weight of the calves by about 100 lbs, and he sure did. He must have sired more of the calves than I thought he would have his first year.

Hi, Everyone!

Suzy, I'm sorry to hear you still have flashbacks after so many years. It must have been extremely traumatic for you. Has anyone ever suggested that you might have PTSD? I wish there were something that could help.

Heidi, great news about the calves! Since Gil so drastically underestimated their weight, I hope the buyer was not upset about having to pay more for them. You certainly know a great deal about genealogy and choosing good breeding stock! I keep thinking it would be a great opportunity for people to hire you as a consultant!

I'm off to bed, as we have appointments again tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be able to get some sleep. Good Night, Everyone!

Sending healing energy, prayers, {{{{{HUGS}}}}}, positive thoughts, and

Suzy has stated before that she DOES have PTSD.

The buyer was a little annoyed about the unexpected additional weight. But he also realized that it wasn't my fault. He's met Gil. And been annoyed by him. Gil has to argue every penny, whether he's buying or selling something. Particularly buying. I've had a hard time getting plumbers and electricians out here because once they've dealt with Gil, they've refused to come back. They get highly insensed over having their honesty questioned by him going over every tiny item on a bill and arguing over pennies. When he's selling, you'd think he was selling the Crown Jewels. He always demands more than a thing is worth and gets VERY few repeat customers.

Heidi is right. I have been diagnosed with PTSD. Visiting a head doc is helping. I have fewer flashbacks now than I did. The last time I saw armoured van employees it felt like pushing through a physical barrier to get past them though. That's the dead man flashback. I still remember though. Memories are easier because I'm able to separate from the emotions and think analytically, like my comment just now. It's less like they are happening again, and more like I'm discussing something that happened to someone else. I thought I was just remembering for a long time. It wasn't until my doc said 'ptsd' that I realised I had triggers and was able to work on it. The problem is a lot of really crappy things have happened to me so there are lots of triggers. I'm getting better though.

Heidi, I'm so glad you won't have to deal with Gil for much longer! At least I hope he doesn't mess things up even more!

Julie, I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping everything goes smoothly.

Hello, Fellow Sudokuaholics!

Heidi, I agree with Suzy and look forward to the time (hopefully soon) when you no longer need to deal with Gil on a regular basis.

Suzy, I apologize for forgetting that you have indeed been diagnosed with PTSD. Your comments from a day or so ago just really clicked and I realized how much you have had to deal with over the years. We're proud of you for all the strides you have made in spite of adversity. You're a role model.

Today's appointments for hubby went well - and we were only gone from 8 until 3, so avoided rush hour traffic and were home before dark. Since hubby is scheduled for surgery next week, the urologist felt it made most sense to keep the catheter for a few more days, rather than remove and reinsert. They will check to be sure the infections are cleared up completely, but he didn't have any immediate concern with proceeding as scheduled.

Thinking of all of our regular and occasional posters here and sending much , {{{{{HUGS}}}}}, healing energy, positive thoughts, and prayers for all!

Hi Julie, I'm very glad today was shorter, and better!

Please don't apologise for forgetting. I like to remind myself every now and then that a lot of good things have happened as well as the bad. I have to be careful with that though. In the past I used all those good things as the reason 'I didn't need help'. Now I try to keep more of a balance. Yes, I need help because of all the rubbish, but life is still good, as evidenced by all the good stuff.

Soooo sleepy, but to many thoughts fighting for my attention ATM.

Had to sign in, whn did that change. I happened to remember sig in and password, yeah!

Did I say I got my own appointment with neurologist today. thursday being the end of the week in too many doc offices, I phoned to see if request had arrived. NOPE, but once they checked that===my insurance would cover, were happy to make me an appointment for TUESDAY. Hope this is the start of finding the problem, and therefore tttthe solution.

Ordered a couple of gifts from 3rd party seller in Amazon. One of the set of two, non matching decorative items was pure JUNK, coming apart in shippingl then Amazon would not let me post a long negative review. got the run around, but I ran, and at last got to show what I thought of that piece of junk. Great idea, lovely colors, but put together with brown paper tape, arrived in pieces,

OK, I keep flling sleep here, lets try the bed, with hopes the sleepy does not dissapear to the land of lost sleep! Hugs to each of you, with extras, till later.

MizT, I was thinking that it really sucked that your neurologist was only available 4 days a week, then remembered mine is only around 1 day a month. I'm glad you have an appointment so soon!

Hi, Everybody!

Suzy, I think most women find it difficult to ask for help. Our role is to 'help' everyone and solve problems. It doesn't matter if the help we are asking for is a ride to an appointment, assistance with a difficult task, some understanding and encouragement. We have been taught that we must be perfect. I think we have all had an occasion when we could have or should have asked for help, but didn't feel comfortable doing so..

MizT, congrats on grabbing the bull by the horns and getting yourself an appointment with the neurologist! Hoping he/she will be of help and can solve the headaches problem!

Thinking of everyone and sending positive thoughts, prayers, , healing energy, and {{{{{HUGS}}}}}!

MizT, wishing you an end to your headaches, however it happens!

Julie, wishing you a good nights sleep.

Heidi, wishing you an end to Gil caused problems.

Nola, hoping things are good for you.

DorA and unohu, weighing you laughs.

June, sending gentle hugs and good news.

I had a good day today. I had coffee with friends and they told me to keep doing what I'm doing because I look much happier and more relaxed. I also got flowers and chocolates for my birthday next week. Then I picked up D and the grandkids and we put up the tree. There is a heavy concentration of ornaments at kid height and I love it!

I envy you that heavy concentration of ornaments at kid height, Suzy. That is the joy that Christmas is all about.

Tomorrow is the annual Christmas party at the Lions Camp Crescendo. I'm taking my friend Debbie along. IH always hated going, since he didn't know anybody, and there was fun involved.

I discovered that Gil has taken my winter farm parka. He knew it was mine 'cause he took my fleece-lined mittens and gloves out of the pockets and stuck them in a corner of the dining room. WHAT is WRONG with him???

Heidi, perhaps you can add the cost of replacing the coat to the divorce agreement? Though that might make things more complicated than they already are.

Greetings, All!

Suzy, what wonderful wishes! I wish you a year full of days like today every year!

Heidi, have fun at the Christmas party. Too bad your winter farm parka isn't full of lice or some awful contagious bug that would make IH regret ever considering taking it.

I'm off to bed. Need to find a way to actually sleep when I'm in bed!

Sending wonderful and positive Christmas thoughts, healing energy, {{{{{HUGS}}}}}, prayers, and for everyone!

Thank you to everyone for the wishes , thoughts and prayers, EXCEPT SUZY! I am not yet ready to wish for end of headaches 'no matter how it happens.' Just think about that for a bit ;) I really do know what you meant, Suzy.

Something strange has happened last 2 nights, in the wee hours. Not really clear, except I fell asleep NOT in bed, woke very confused, had difficulty walking getting to kitchen and my 'chart' of medications, and counting pills to make sure I had not already taken anything without writing it down, meds all correctly accounted for. Not sure what happeed, but made notes f it. almost frightening, but not sure why???

Did I say in saga iof heat here, our first really /COLD weather, My HVAC unit was changed out twice, that it then malfunctioned, dead as a , well, dead, two mornings in a rol. maintenance came out an hour early, figured the problem in quik time. Breaker had tripped, at 4-5 am. I felt a bit dumb, anything electrical, first is it plugged in, second is breaker tripped. I KNOW this, said it out loud as son as dean turned toward breaker. After second occurrence, he came back mid day, and checked all the wiring (done by the now no longer employed head maintenance man) and rewired it just to be sure problem solved. No further problems. I came in as he wa leaving last trip, and could NOT lock my door. Friday afternon, and he had 3 other heat problems, as happens with first real use of the year. but he found time to get back, discover problem was the late around hole the lock goes into, It was somehow bennnnnnnt. Removed for a temp fix, door still seurely locks, and will return later first of week to put on new pate. Always knew his 'boss' was lazy, work avoiding, man who could have been MUCH better at repairing thing. So glad we have DEAN now.

anyone on TOS can see what I did for gift wrap this year. Tanya had bought and brought me lain white gift boxes. I had several sheets photocopy of the ornaments I had colored. cut them out when resting, and glued them on bottom right corner of the boxes, tied a bit of ribbon, so much easier than wrestling with wrapping boxes with paper and anyone can tell which are MY gifts hehehe.

Time to get back to bed. Just had repeat sleep medication. I got 5 hours from the first one. but not straight through, drats. Will take another solid 9-10 hours sleep, like yesterday, no matter how many times I am awake.

Hugs to each of you, with extras, till later. I did read and thought of you, no matter if I commented or not. Huge hugs, to each of you, til next time. cannot check for errors, sorry, bed calls loudly now

Oh, MizT! I didn't think of that! I'm glad you knew what I actually meant! Sorry

I don't like the sound of your disorientation. Hope that is fixed quickly. Your new mtce guy seems pretty good.

I frequently wake that disoriented. It takes me a while to figure out what day it is, if it's AM or PM, where I am (even what year it is) and when I last took pills. My rule of thumb there is if I don't remember, don't touch any pills. I'd rather be late than overdose. . . even if it means I go without pain meds for an extra 8 hours.

Hi, Ladies and Gentlemen!

MizT, thank goodness for the new maintenance man Dean! Sounds like he's a keeper. Hopefully he won't be hired away by another organization.

I'm glad you keep careful count of your medications! It's a bit scary when you wake and are disoriented. Please continue to be careful and vigilant!

Suzy, don't feel bad. I didn't think of it either.

Heidi, perhaps now that you'll not have to be dealing on a regular basis with Gil, you will sleep better and not feel disoriented when you wake up.

Speaking of sleep, I'm past due, so will wish you all a good day, afternoon, evening, and night! Sending pleasant and positive thoughts, , {{{{{HUGS}}}}}, prayers, and healing energy!

Julie, your post about asking for help, so very true. One of the hardest things I have had to do, and still have great difficulty doing so.

I think perhaps a bit harder to start doing, but easier to follow through is STOPPING when my body says stop. that's because I saw immediate results, both negative and positive. IF I stopped immediately when body said NO, a 5 min rest and most times I was back in business. Push on, even 10-15 minuets to end task, and I could be down and unable to do anything for days. so that was easier to learn.

the effects of not asking for help were not so obvious to me, and big deal required involving a third party. Perhaps that was the difference? It showed my vulnerability to OTHERS. others, someone who did not understand my invisible pain, and often did not even Believe in it! I am practicing when someone offers to help, even if I am capable of completing task alone. If I continually say NO to little offers, like hold a door, they are disinclined to offer again!

Heidi, the dirty, lying low down IH, taking your coat? there were times, in frontier days, that stealing a coat was adamant to murder. without the warmth, a gold digger, or a 'westward ho' traveler could not live in the winter. It was severely punished, too. that is the lowest, most underhanded thing ever. He wanted, he took. FINE CHRISTIAN MAN! I would let lawyer know. and if you want that particular coat back, ask through lawyer for it's return. If not, buy yourself a better one, but pass that story far and wide!! Low down slime, can you tell I am most upset about that??

JULIE, I join you in the search for sleep. Lately I am finding sleep in my recliner is often a good option for me. turn on dull TV program, and try to watch it. good for about an hour sleep .

Suzy, not problem, dear, and no need to be sorry. Most people would not think of that. It is just within the last year here, a lady and her minister prayed frequently, sincerly, unendingly for the end of her pain (both psychal and emotional pain) the next day, she walked from her apartment into hall, and fell dead from a heart attack. Be careful for what you ask, you might ge =t it kind of thing. The resident would not have been unhappy that was how her life ended, she really wanted OUT. the minister is having problems though.

We have had another death under questionable circumstances. Resident found dead in his apartment, alone. always hard, always known, because the police, in numbers, arrive with medics. He was in very poor health, was a survivor of an attempted suicide before, and had had around the clock 'suicide watch' caregivers. It is believed, somehow, some way, he managed pills or something to check out early. Multiple health problems, and looking worse and worse every day as he was seen walking outside for his cigarettes (smoking in only one outside area now) I have a vague little niggle back of my proven to exsist,brain, that someone here is helping, is supplyi

Need some positive vibes today. I will be having a PET scan. Cost $950 with nothing back from Medicare. I will be radioactive later. I have spent 6 months planning the entertainment for the bowling club Christmas party and now I will be at the hospital having the scan! Hopefully I will be finished and maybe I will get back to the club on time to participate.

Happy Birthday Suzie. Enjoy your 29th. birthday. What a young mother you were????

MizT.... I disagree with you. That resident had the right to end his pain if he wanted to. A person shouldn't be forced to live in hopeless pain because society, or the church, considers suicide a sin. I plan to end it that way myself, when the treatments I'm undergoing no longer work. I won't let one of my animals suffer needlessly, and if a rational person makes that choice for himself, I believe it's the kindest thing to do. I don't think people should be treated better than pets or pets better than people.

Several times in the past, IH has taken my coats and I've had to demand them back, so when neither Debbie or I could find my winter farm coat (which he HAS taken twice before), I assumed he had done it again. It has resurfaced. Debbie had washed it, thought it was Gil's, and put it among his assorted coats in the basement for him to take away. Then she forgot completely about it. I decided to look through that stack and found it. Gil was innocent this time. But he does have a LONG history of helping himself to anything he thinks he needs, whether he pays for it or not, or lets the owner know that he's taking it. His excuse is always ''But I NEEDED it!''. I've repeatedly had to explain to him that taking something that doesn't belong to you, without the knowledge or permission of the owner, is called STEALING. He's even helped himself to items from stores that are kept outside at night. ''They have them there for their customers!'' he says. He won't return anything until I threaten to tell the store so they can call the police. Then he sneaks back at night and leaves it (after asking ME to return it for him). It'll be interesting to see if he gets in trouble without me there. I'd LOVE to testify for the prosecution.

I went to the Lions Christmas party and gift exchange yesterday. Had a good time except for one thing. One person always brings a religious based gift. Just one. And I always seem to get it. Yesterday I got a musical light-up nativity scene. I will have to quickly regift it.

Suzy,
Have a great day

Today is our last day in Tasmania, so we fly back to Brisbane tonight, then drive 4 hrs north to Bundaberg. Even Tassie will be hot today.
Paul starts work tomorrow but luckily, I have another week off.
Wishing you all well.

Suzy!

Happy birthday Suzy - hope your family spoil you today and you have a great one.

Thank you for the birthday wishes. Alie said she was going to do tonnes for me today. She is napping a lot. To be fair it is 37.8/100 degrees so I'm not doing much either. We're all going out for dinner later.

Had the PET scan. See the surgeon tomorrow to get the results.
I was finished in time to get back to the bowling club to organise the entertainment. It was a sketch I had spent ages organising and everyone got a good laugh.