Keith from CA

Oh, there is a turret left for me - oh, goodie goodie. Who's your chocolate maker - Rocky Mtn, Sees, Harry & David, Dove, Giradelli? Tell me, tell me, tell me!!! Did he leave any napkins or wash=ups? Mf face & hands are a mess. Yum.

Who's great idea was it to melt the chocolate castle and pour it into the bath, now that all the beer has gone. I want to be the first to swim across the Chocky Ocean!

AN ODE TO MELTED CHOCOLATE

Melted chocolate. What a treat!
Makes it so much easier to eat!
Jump right in the bathtub, guys
Keeping your eyes closed would be wise.

Jeb's been in there far too long
Drag him out, it's just plain wrong
To hog the goody we all crave
Watch out for the tidal wave

As grids of sudokers shed their duds
and leap into the chocolate suds
The sight you see is not too pleasant
As bodies clash....WHO BROUGHT THE PHEASANT?

Gail and Eve and André too
MizTricia, Dave and Jane, woo hoo
Kathy, Debby, Rena, Stella
Think we need another fella

So we'll let ol' Jeb back in
But please try not to spill the gin
Hmmm...this is getting quite risqué
So I'll end this poem and go away.

GAIL, see what you started with your melted chocolate in the tub?? Jane is rhyming, and people are splashing, OH what a chocolate mess! Keith will never recover hehehe

EVE, it looks like Dove Dark chocolate to me, I love dark chocolate!

Hey Jeb, when do the performing seals put on thier show? On with the entertainment!

We had to trade the performing seal act for the DeKalb County Championship hog calling contest winner. The bathtub was for the seals to relax between acts and someone whined about the salted herring in their chocolate.

Also, if the guy can make bus connections, we'll be entertained by a ventriloquist who does his act while riding a unicycle.

In the bathtub!!!!!!

Just got word that the ventriloquist guy will be a couple of hours late but he's bringing a friend who is a prize winning pirate impersonator. He can say AAARRRRRGGGHH in 14 different languages and 3 Carpathian dialects.

Now its super late and I'm off to bed. Will check in later to see how it all worked out.

JEB, I come back to check up on you guys and things are a bit rough here. The hog caller is trying to teach the ventriloquist how to call a hog, and those terrible SUEEEE sounds are bouncing off the walls, from all directions! Jane is trying to get the impersonator to rhyme in the 3 Carpathian dialects, but she keeps getting the 3 confused and has the impersonator in tears of laughter! I do not like my chocolate salty! Gail borrowed the unicycle and is leaving a trail of melted chocolate all over!

I tried sorting them out, but now I am exhausted, what a job! I shall sit here in my recliner a bit and take a nap, if the hog caller will behave, that is. boy the naughty corner is geting full!

Should we ask Stella to bring her Mensa puzzles for some more sedate entertainment?

Oh, MizTricia, what have we wrought?
By encouraging Jeb, we'll all be caught
Keith's next door neighbors are sure to complain
And wait'll Keith sees that chocolate stain!

The hog caller's callin', the pirate's arrrrgh-in'
Everyone's jabbering in Carpathian jargon
And while we're arrested for raising cain
Dear Jeb has fled to his Kansas plain.

There's salted herring in the punch
That 'triloquist guy is "out to lunch"
I think we need to steal his dummy
'Cause he's threatening to tell his mummy.

Gail, get off that unicycle!
It's so unladylike, just ask Michael!
And who is Michael, might you ask?
He's the bloke dressed like a Basque.

I think I'm getting meself in trouble
As I stand here amidst the rubble
So I'll close my eyes and click my heels
While the movie plays out in endless reels

There truly is no place like home
If I get there, no more I'll roam
So abracadabra, jibbedyjansas
Omigod, I'm now in Kansas!

MizTricia: MENSA puzzles? For THIS crowd???? Surely you jest. I'll bet 90% of this gang can't even finish the "easy" Sudoku without checking their dictionaries. hehehehehe

All this party needs right now is more people having fun. Firstly, invite the neighbors. Secondly, each person who shows up has to bring a friend. So, leave a privatge message invitation and drag them along.

I've moved the musical seal act to my page. Check it out, I think you'll enjoy it.

Jeb, have you invited Rayray and his sheep?

Ok, Jeb, we should be ok now. I invited Rayray and his sheep. Hopefully, he'll be able to lend a sense of dignity to the festivities and shame me into not spewing forth any more bad poetry. By the way, do sheep and seals get along? Or are the seals history? I'm off to play tennis now. Will check back in later.

Spot on Jane! All these parties had one ingredient missing and I just couldn't put my finger on it. Dignity. But I am afraid some of the revelers would be a bit put off by too much of it.

Well for heaven's sake! I just slid through the front door on sheep dung!! Yuck!
I've brought my friend, Mr. Einstein, who was interested in trying Stella's MENSA puzzles. He left in a huff when he discovered some of the puzzles covered in melted chocolate, some awash in pickled herring, and one with a unicycle tire print through it! The poor man was knocked down on his way out by a herd of stampeding hogs responding to a call! How embarrassing! So much for inviting intellegent, refined guests to this party. I'm heading next door to ask Bubba and Gerttie Mae!

Gerrtie Mae and Bubba will be here as soon as she finishes pulling his last, remaining tooth.
Is that Miz T I see sitting in her chocolate coated recliner? Why does she have a bell in her mouth? I have said it before, you just can't take her anywhere!

Oh, omg, what a mess. I brought my grill with some extra charcoal. Do you think any of the hogs or sheep would be missed?

My sheep are rushing to Keith's party ahead of me. I don't know why, because it is very likely they will be grilled on the Baaa-beQ.
Feel free to ewes them - that's what they're for.
Sorry about the droppings dropped at the door on the dorrstep. I do toilet train the sheep, but their memories are short-lived, especially when they get excited about parties. Pretend the droppings are chocolate-coated currents, but don't go so far as to eat them. If you do Baaa-beQ any sheep please don't eat the wool - it doesn't taste so good.

The pages are quiet
there's no one around
they claim to be on a diet
but they're chocolate bound
Keith set the bait
And we couldn't wait
it's too hard to resist
just one turret wouldn't be missed?
but the plan went awry
the temperature was too high
chocolate pigs and chocolate sheep
melted chocolate that's knee deep
running chocolate like a river
Jane's naked swimmers start to quiver
where to go and what to do
if we're not careful, we'll become chocolate stew
quick, send out the alarm
we've got to get these animals back to the farm
before Keith gets back
and finds his house turned into a chocolate shack!

OH MY a girl cannot get a decent nap, for all the hogs and the sheep, nice of Jeb to keep the seal act at bay for a bit.

BABY DIAPERS, we need baby diapers! Get Rayray's sheep properly dressed for polite company! Put them on the hogs. That should cut down on some of the mess.

I have invited the fire department to join the party! they promise to wash up when it is over, gonna turn the hoses on the party room and any guests needing to shower fore heading for home! Till then, they will entertain us with DANCING!

This is a party I should not miss.Would love some Baaa BQed chocolate covered lamb.Maybe I could try a new recipe to make chocolate scones!
I am sure you have kept the sheep and pigs inside and not let them mess his lovely garden.

What garden, June? You mean Keith actually had a garden? I think we are in serious trouble. Between the sheep and the hogs and the chocolate runoff, there's nothing but muck outside. Oh well, I'm sure there must be a gardener amongst us who will put things right.

Don't look at me. I don't have a green thumb...actually, looking at it, it seems to be covered with chocolate. Lets just roll Miz T and her recliner over to block the garden path. Maybe he won't notice the distruction?

fingers all full of chocolate! That's destruction!

OK no time to party but will just leave a brew for you all to enjoy ..............

Hey, gang - It's just occurred to me that as we lurch and slide around the melted chocolate, spilling our drinks and wreaking (wrecking is more like it) havoc here at Keith's pad, our sophisticated friend Rayray is no doubt dining on his SCRUMPtious duck breasts (from CALAIS, no less) on a proper dining table with impeccable linen cloth, fine crystal goblets, sterling cutlery and fine china. Hmmmmmph! What say we cut loose from Keith's and crash Rayray's place??? Maybe there's some duck left. And I haven't been involved in a good tart throwing competition in years!

You know the new stairs from the deck? I was thinking, if we put plastic over them, we can have a choc-slide out onto the lawn! YEAH!

Unbelievable, Jane turns her nose up at a few splatters and heads off to where the linens are fresh only to start a food fight the minute she arrives.

Oh, don't worry about Jane, Jeb. She'll be back as soon as she finds out we've got dancing firemen with their hoses at the ready!
Last one down the choc-slide is a ninny!
Wheeeee!

I'm baaaaaaaaack! Fresh off the plane from Yorkshire with an armload of Rayray's SCRUMPtious tarts. Now Jeb, you know I wouldn't misbehave at Rayray's. He might take back his orange-ginger sauce recipe! Ok, everybody, DUCK!!! SPLAAAAAAAT! Gotcha, Kathy! Thanks goodness the firemen are here to clean up the mess.

Good on ya, Jane. I was afraid the salted herring had run you off.

Well, OUR work is done here. Off to the next party! Oh, and WELCOME HOME, Keith! I've left a few phone numbers in case you need them:

ACME SHEEP REMOVAL SERVICE - YOrkshire 7-2189
CHOC-NO-MORE STAIN REMOVAL SERVICE - 555-2296
GARDENZ R US Landscape Repair Service - 555-9264
INS (Illegal Alien Removal Service) - cinco cinco cinco - nueve tres cuatro siete (ask for Juan Toomenny)

Keith, I brought a few of your friends over to help clean up the yard, and the strangest thing happened. Two pieces of risque garden statuary cussed at us and retreated more deeply into the bushes. Can you explain this? :)
(Welcome home!)

I know nothink, I see nothink!

Keith, I tried, but the shop keeper wouldn't take the two extra cases of salted herring back. You might try using it as mulch. Your backyard garden could really use it where the chockie slide terminated.

Gail knows more than she's letting on. Ask her about the three firemen, the helmet, the bunker suspenders and the boot full of whipped cream.

Who's that over in the corner in a chocolate induced coma?

wonka wonka wonka

GAIL? Three fireman and only one boot full of whipped cream? A bit miserly I should think.