Sudokuaholics Anonymous 10

Everyone is trying to accomplish something big, not realizing that life is made up of little things.
Frank Howard Clark

Hello all. I did not want to start the page off with telling you what has been bothering me, but the above quote pretty well sums it up.

After 36 and a half years of marriage, I told hubby that I want out. Over the last six months or so, I just haven't felt like he has been in my corner. It has been a long time since we have gone out and when I would suggest it, I always felt it fell on deaf ears. So I will be looking for a job and then a small place of my own. I can't believe that at my age I have to start over. I was just tired of feeling so alone. If I'm going to feel alone, I might as well be alone. Time will tell. Of course once I get a place of my own, I won't have a computer to talk to you!!!!! I will think of something. Right now I am just kind of stunned and don't know what to say. I guess I'm just rambling .....

Theresa, keeping you in my thoughts. It is not easy to start over, at any age. You seem like a strong person and I am sure you will find a way to make it. Please try to keep in touch, somehow. The public libraries by me have computers for use, do the libraries by you have the same? That may be an alternative for you.

That's what I'm hoping, Tami.

Tonight is the dinner for my oldest grandie's 9th birthday. I heard hubby tell my D over the phone that I am sick and I won't be going. Good to know I'm sick, but why am I the last one to know? Besides, why would I go to a Texas steak house when I can open a can of soup at home???

Hi all.
Oh Theresa! Sorry to hear you have felt so alone in your marriage.It takes a lot of courage to take the step of leaving and I wish you well. We all do.
Thank you all for your hugs and support for Judy & myself. Gail...you are right but at the moment I can only imagine things I want to say.When with her, it seems too hard.
Heidi,your leg sounds quite nasty if you can feel the screw.Could not imagine the pain you must feel. Robert must see you as an Angel and marvelous friend.
MizT,good luck with your paperwork amidst all the other prep work for moving.
Tami..how is Mitchells hand?
Suzy..let us know what Nathalia is up to.Smiling easily now I bet.
Is Marmacita still in hospital? Wishing her well either way.
Julie,Vicky,Bean,Rolanda,Broni,Cyn,Judy,Suzanne,and all ahve a nice day.

I was wondering about Mama still being in hospital as yesterday I saw her name come up on my Skype list as being on line. I was busy doing something at the time and couldn't try and call her. Then I thought maybe her daughter had logged on to her computer.
Theresa so sorry to hear your news, it is never good to hear of a break up but you know what you have been going through daily. ((HUGS)) and hope you can still keep in touch.
Heidi hope you get your leg sorted out soon.
Can't remember what else I wanted to comment on but ((HUGS)) to everyone.

Richard and I went out today and bought a new bed. The mattress on our current one is getting rather uncomfortable. We decided to replace the whole thing as the mahogany frame is starting to get a little creaky. Have to wait two weeks for delivery.

HUGS, i see there are a few people her who need them. Packed and ready to go. A lovely sunny day for travelling. We are taking the notebook and although it does belong to me Hubby hogs it. Will be in touch.

Enjoy yourself June.

Have an enjoyable and relaxing time, June.

Theresa, I have no words except to say I admire your bravery. Nothing worse than feeling alone with someone right next to you. Sincerest best wishes and {{{{{hugs}}}}}

Theresa.... You are taking a very courageous step. You are a braver woman than I am. Truly. I imagine that it will be hard for a while, but you'll be free. You're doing the right thing.
Why did hubby feel the need to lie about you being sick? Are you going anyway to show him up for a liar?

June. Have a great time.

My pick for the Derby was bumped and squeezed at the start of the race, then boxed in. He never had a chance. I've always felt that the Derby field is too large to allow the best horse to win. There's too much luck involved, unless you have a super horse like Secretariat.

Back to bed to rest the leg. The skin around where the screw is pushing has started oozing. But I don't want to go to the ER.

Heidi, you should go to the ER. It does not sound good if the leg is oozing.

Heidi get yourself to the ER NOW!!!!

((( Theresa ))) ♥♥♥

Heidi, I hope you soon feel better.

I don't feel very strong at all. The task that is ahead of me is humongous! I don't know where to start. I broke down and had a few cigarettes tonight with a friend.

My main problem with hubby is that he does not listen. Now he is saying he didn't know of problems, when I have mentioned them many times in the past. I think now he's listening, but like I said, too little, too late.

No, I didn't go to the restaurant because it was in Ottawa - way too far to walk. I did tell my daughter that I was not sick and that I had wanted to go to the restaurant.

I guess I just feel like I am the low man on the totem pole when it comes to anything at all. Everybody else comes ahead of me. I just want to feel like I matter and that maybe I'm special to someone.

Sorry for going on and on, but I can't sleep, have no appetite, and am just down in the dumps further than I have ever been in my life. I don't know where to start.

Thanks for being there, my friends.

HUGE HUGS, Theresa. I do hope you can make a plan and that then the plan goes smoothly.

If I had wanted to go to the restaurant, and like you, did not drive, i would have been dressed, ready and sitting in the auto when hubby came out to go. He would have had to forcibly picked me up and put me out of the car to go without me.

If you are going to divorce him, go MONDAY, get a lawyer, have the lawyer list your rights for you. DO NOT leave your home until you do talk with a lawyer. This is very important, it is the rest of your life at stake here. You must know the laws, what you are expected to do, what they can make your husband do in the way of temporary support untill there is a divorce, all of that and more, before you make any move. I know, I was given this same advice when I was a basket case and ready to end my first marriage. I did see a lawyer. I found out half of what I had planned to do would not work, would have made matters very bad for me and my children. I was so glad I heard and took that advice. I hope you will also.

Good advice MizT. Theresa, learn from a very smart lady, we know you are.
HUGE (((((HUGS))))) for you Theresa.

MizT, did I just save from breaking the site again?

Greetings to each of you! I'm running late tonight, as we went to an orchestra concert about 1.5 hours away. It was very good and well worth the trip. The adult daughters of D#2's (and my) cello teacher were guest soloists playing the Brahms Double Concerto. (They are professional musicians.)

Heidi, I hope your leg is feeling better today!

Gail, I hope Hannah and her friend had fun! (Oh, to be young again!) Did they manage to break the record? I also hope you and Scott had fun with your indoor projects!

Tami, thanks for checking on the first SA's beginning date. Wow! In just a few days, we can say we've been posting here for five years!

MizT, your new (to you) vehicle sounds very practical! Good for you for finding a replacement for your previous vehicle! (Did you trade it in, or will you need to sell it yourself?)

Hi, Broni! (Or did I miss you?)

Great TOPP, Theresa! Thank you!

Theresa, I'm stunned as I read your next post. What a difficult time this has been for you. I'm sure you struggled with your decision, but your courage and determination should be a help. You and your hubby have both been under so much stress with your D's medical problems, your grandie's school difficulties, financial worries, your hubby working 2 jobs, your in-laws' problems, your D and SIL having marital issues, and your medical issues. It's a wonder you were able to quit smoking with all that was going on. It's not much of a surprise that neither of you had much time or energy to think of yourselves or each other. We will all be thinking of you and are here to support you as you deal with all of this. All the best to you! {{{{HUGS}}}}

Tami, what a great suggestion about computers in libraries! I hope they are also available in Canada!

Hi, Nola! It's always good to have a visit from you! Continued {{{HUGS}}} for you and Judy! I'm sure you'll find a way to have a discussion with her, as suggested by Gail. It just needs to be a time when you won't be interrupted and you can both have a good cry before having to go back to the day-to-day "normalcy".

Brenda, how nice to be able to look forward to the arrival of a new bed and mattress! It can make such a difference in your sleep and in the way you feel all day!

June, I hope you and Ken have a wonderful time away! It's nice that you were able to talk to others who have just returned from the same trip. I hope they had advice that will help make the trip memorable!

Heidi, is it worth it to avoid the ER for another day? Is more damage being done if you delay being seen by a medical professional? If you call your orthopedist first thing Monday morning, is it likely that you will be able to be seen on Monday? We worry about you. Please take care of yourself, and stay off your feet as much as possible.

MizT, your advice for Theresa should be a big help! It's so much better to avoid problems than to have to undo mistakes. Theresa, please listen to MizT!

I had better get myself in bed soon. Prayers, positive thoughts, healing vibes and {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} for everyone! Please take care of yourselves!

Evening to you all. I have posted updated photos of the kitchen reno progress

Morning all. Coffee is ready, help yourself.

Theresa, We are here for you. I know what you are going through is not easy. Come here and talk to us. We have strong shoulders and big arms. We give great hugs and will be glad to help support you.

Hi all. Just got off the phone with Heidi. I was getting worried about her. She told me that her leg is not hurting as much today. She promised me that she will go to the doctor tomorrow.

Tami, thanks for talking to heidi and getting that promise from her. We worry when one of us is injured, hurting, or sick. And it is hard to worry from such a distance as there is between us.

I agree Tricia. I am glad I have her number, and yours. We had a nice long conversation.

Hello people.

Have no had a cigarette today and hope I don't need any more. Good news is I don't really have a craving any more.

I am not rushing into anything right now. Hubby is generally a good guy and I think eventually we can be friends. D would like us to go for counselling ... we'll see. It's hard to just give up on that many years I guess. I'm just very, very tired.

Catch you all later.

Theresa.... Smoking is VERY soothing to the nerves. It's the main argument and benefit in favor of smoking. You now know you can quit if you want to, and what it entails. I don't think anyone would blame you if you went back to smoking while going through this divorce.

I have had virtually no pain in my leg today. I'm walking without crutches or cane. I think my posts made it sound worse than it was. I do see the need of seeing the orthopedist asap, and I WILL call tomorrow, but I am not going to the ER for this.

Theresa, counseling can be a good idea. You have a lot of time invested in your marriage. My mom and I have spoken. Marriage is not easy. We agree that there have been times we we wanted to kick our men out the door, but you have to work through difficult times. There are still times I want to send hubby packing, but somehow he does something to redeem himself. I am here for you if you need an ear.

This avatar is tongue-in-cheek. I'm laughing at myself.

Good advice, Tami. Maybe the councilor will give hubby the swift kick in the pants that he needs.

Speaking of good advice..... MizT's is EXCELLENT. See a lawyer before doing anything. You don't want to make it worse for yourself accidentally.

Tami, you are so lucky to have your mom to talk to. It's times like this that I wish my mom was around. I could sure use one of her big bear hugs right now.

I was sick to my stomach most of the night from the 3 cigarettes I had, plus a massive headache. I haven't had any since and I don't plan on having any. It wasn't until Julie itemized everything that had been going on in my life the last 2 years that I realized I have gone through a lot of stressful stuff. What would I do without you guys to talk to? Hugs, hugs, hugs .....

((((( HUGS ))))) for you, Theresa. You've been through way too much lately and deserve better.

Theresa, stress and nicotine do not make for a happy tummy, you have the right idea there. Got to start looking after yourself, because you will not make anyone happy if you are not happy within yourself.
Be kind to yourself my friend.
As always love and hugs to all my friends.

Morning everyone.
I worked my 1st evening shift last night as an EEN.It was scary when I kept getting interrupted trying to give out meds.I just need more practice and try to stay calm no matter what happens. Overall,it was an uneventful shift and could have been a lot worse if there had been a fall or altercation. Day shift with 3 times the residents is easier than a first day somewhere else.
I will go and have a look at Gails pix.
Have a good day all.